Hi , I’m 24years old . I am from a small town and I moved to a big city where I lived for a year and a half . While living there I met this guy who seemed to good to be true he was kind , sweet , treated me like how a man should treat a lady . In the beginning of the relationship I told him I did not want to have sex until it was a serious relationship and he had said ok that’s fine . 

Skip to 4 months later, he was still treating me amazing and seemed like a normal man . Well that suddenly changed in a blink of an eye . 

While he had friends over i was there as well, everyone was getting along and having fun playing card games , having beer just what normal friends do . 

He told me he had to tell me something about one of his friends and told me walk with him, while I did not thinking of anything bc we had spent a lot of time together and nothing bad ever happened .... 

he brought me into his room and told me he was upset because he really liked me and I was tempting him . So I said I was sorry and if he didn’t want to stay then he could leave , he started raising his voice at me and asked me what I thought was wrong with him and I said nothing so I got scared and tried walking out but instead he grabbed me and told me “do what I say or I will hurt you , so don’t make a scene “ I panicked and was crying and praying to God to let me live, he pulled up my dress and told me to be quiet and started raping me while I’m crying and begging him not to do this to me . After he finished he told me to go in the bathroom and clean myself up and fix my makeup and not say a word or he’d hurt me so I fixed up while shaking and grabbed my stuff and ran as fast as I could. 

The next day I reported it and I went and got tested and all my results showed up clean , however they cannot find him at all , he also deleted everything and changed his number and moved and abandoned his apartment . 

So still scared knowing he’s roaming the street and scared for any girl he gets next bc he was tall handsome with these big blue eyes and dimples any girl would get sucked into him . 

Now skip forward to last week, I kept having bad cramps and no period so I went to the doctor and got tested and I had no symptoms or anything and I also have not had sex with anyone after that bc I’m not ready to and still remember it so clearly . 

So yesterday , it’s valentines and my doctor calls me and tells me I didn’t have anything life threatening , however she told me I tested positive for genital herpes even tho I had no symptoms . 

I fell to the ground and felt numb , I started shaking , I couldn’t even process what she had said and she was talking about the positive things in life which I didn’t even hear a word after she told me my results . 

After I got off of the phone , I bursted into tears and was shaking of fear with a million things running through my head , when I looked in the mirror all I could see was disgust and hatred towards the man who I thought I could trust to only have him rape me and I felt dirty , I took 3 showers and still didn’t feel clean , I still don’t feel clean and it’s only the 2nd day. All I have is anger built up and regrets, and wondering how I didn’t see any signs and how I didn’t see it coming , and how anyone is going to ever love me and how will it affect my future kids if I have any . 

I need a lot of support and sadly I don’t have a lot of it . I told my sister and she cried with me and hugged me tight but no one else in my family knows and I don’t even know how to tell them bc I know my mom won’t believe me (she defended a family member who molested another family member) and covers for him so what makes me think she won’t cover for this loser who should be dead right now . 

I just want my dad here, he passed when I was 19 but he was my best friend my everything and would hold me tight and tell me it’s going to be ok and how I’ll always be his baby girl . 

I just need support, and one day be able to help other people through similar situations .