When I was 15 years old I went with a group of friends to a Rib Festival at a nearby Fairground.  There, an older man began talking to me at the mechanical bull.  He asked me if I had ever rode one before, and that it's just like sex, to wrap my legs around the bull like I would a man and hold on tight.  He continued to follow my friends and I and kept pestering me to go on a ride on his Honda Shadow, just down the street and back.  Initially I said no, but in an effort to get him to stop I eventually agreed.  Unfortunately, instead of down the street and back, he took me to meet his 3 kids (his eldest and I sharing the same name and being 2 years apart in age).  Then he took me to a friends house and proceded to sexually assault me in every way possible.  For so many years I blamed myself for not fighting back or even saying no.  Through therapy and treatment I learned and accepted that I froze because he was 13 years older than I and he informed me about his biker friends and the firearms he owns.  But after my most recent therapist, now I blame myself for what happened, because I knew better than to consent to go on that bike ride and she kind of has me believing I wanted it.  Now I feel as if I have regressed drastically.