honestly right now i dont have the time or money. I have 20 dollars and no income. Also I have a 17 credit hour work week with college as a first year freshman.

Hey there,

I was similarly molested as a child. The memories started coming back to me when I hit adulthood. So I understand your position. It's not easy not knowing everything. I have found this group incredibly helpful and caring.

You say that you don't matter, you've never done anything, etc, etc. Well, maybe it's time to change that. This is your life and it's up to you to make it worth while. Getting out there for the first time can be difficult. You don't know what you can do, what you want to do, or really even who you are as a person. The only way to learn is to go out and try new things and explore what interests you. My recommendations are the following:
1. Look for a job, It will be tough, I had 18 credits every semester for college and I worked through it. it did give me a little spending money here and there which made social things more fun. With grades like yours, you should be fine
2. Join clubs. At any college, there are a million clubs you can delve into and try out, all with people of similar interests who could become good friends.
3. Volunteer. Essentially you could define this as a club, just with different goals, but its still a good way to meet people and do good around your community.

You say that you haven't done anything important, and I would say that is true of most teenagers. It's just how life is. Now is the time where you will start to make changes and do important things. Your youth is essentially getting ready for adulthood. You are on your own now, so it's up to you to become the person you want to be and make an impact with your life.

the problem is im not a very social person. Personally I'd rather sit in my room. Maybe next semester I'll try joining a club or something, but right now it just isnt very feasible for me

SexyBeast,

You've heard the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink." Your girlfriend may have introduced you to this site but she didn't write your posts for you, she didn't tell you what to say.

You were the one who decided to write and what to say. You didn't answer all my questions. I asked you why you have such unrealistic expectations for yourself at your age.

And why isn't it feasible for you to do volunteer work right now? That's a decision you're making on your own isn't it?

You can continue to say you have no experience making decisions on your own or you can decide to change that.

What do you think?

It's not feasible because i don't have the time or money. I have never had a job I have no income. I've never had to even think for myself before. I didn't really even pick my major. My parents did, granted I love doing this but it was my parents that said that it would b a good field to go into so I am.

Well, maybe it's time for you to make a change. start to think for yourself. Make a decision, no matter how mundane. Find a work study job. Not for the money, or meeting people, but because you chose to.

Well the reason I want the job is because I really need the money, but when your told you dont have time to get a job by the person hiring you dont really have much of a choice.

SexyBeast,

???What.

I was taking 23 credits a semester and working part time at night as a server. You said you don't have to study and still get straight As so what is this BS about not having enough time?

If you're "...told you don't have time to get a job by the person hiring you don't really have much of a choice," THEN you go to another place to look for work.

You have a choice right in front of your eyes; you can continue to live the life others dictate for you or you can begin to take the smallest step towards your personal freedom and self-determination.

Your choice.

SuzA66 took the words right out of my mouth.

There is always another job you could go for, and most colleges offer work studies to help you earn some extra cash. If you don't need to study to get straight A's maybe it's time to challenge yourself a little and see what is out there.

If you haven't had to make decisions, sometimes it's hard to even know WHAT you can do. I hope the advice we're giving helps you think outside the box a bit

Maybe you can also help your self- esteem with little things that make you make a choice. Like driving. Or even walking for that matter. Making dinner or deciding dinner. Maybe even what to read about or write about. Who to talk to and who not to talk to. Find out what you like and dislike. That wasn't someone telling you you don't like the object you decided this.

well tbh its probably more like 27 hours due to the music classes taking a lot more time than what I get from them credit wise. as for walking vs driving, gas costs too much so I always walk. i have no way to make dinner so I have to get the meals (besides I have full meal plan). Also this school has professional course planners so I didn't even pick my classes.

I can't remember who said it but it makes sense to me:

"We are exactly where we want to be".

Even doing nothing is a choice. Allowing others to dictate what we do is a choice. Staying immobilized because it is safe is a choice. Our choices may frustrate not only others, but ourselves as well.

I have a constant battle with my weight. I want and need to be healthier but to be honest my weight is my armor, it keeps me invisible and therefore safe. So there it is. it isn't that there isn't a solution it's just that I am not ready to change.

Amen, CecilBGreen.

It's about being ready and willing to change. And from all the posts I've read from you SexyBeast you are simply not willing or ready to change.

And you're going to have to stew in the stuff of others--all of which you have made a choice to accept, be it conscious or sub-conscious--until it gets too hot to stand--at which point you are either going to jump out or die.

I hope you jump while you still have spring in your legs. I also must say, that in addition to your posts suggesting you are not ready, I also smell fear.

What's going on?

its called lack of opportunity. I would also like to point out that the job I tried to get was an on campus one. it was a professor ( one that I respect and trust) that told me I was too busy. If he believes that i don't have enough time to invest in a job then its probably true.

So you're telling me your fear is about "lack of opportunity"?? Or did you just skip over my question?

Why don't you find out for yourself if you're too busy to get a job? There is a popular saying out there that claims if you want something done give it to a busy person.

You say you respect and trust this professor--how about growing some respect and trust for your self?

As far as opportunity goes, we can create our own.

To me, SexyBeast, you are only looking to justify your own comfort level in spite of the fact it may be causing you some pain.

You may or may not move when you're sick and tired of other people leading your life.

Your choice.