Sex On The Brain Community Group
A place for those of us with non existent (or dwindling) sex lives to gather. Whether it is to share just how you are feeling or what you miss, or crave or fantasize about (or perhaps have tried with unexpected results?)… I am hoping to find somewhere for those of us fellow "horntoads" to come and chat when we are incredibly lonely and our toys are not enough to keep...
After staying in my marriage for 17 years (12 of which were unhappy, unhealthy and completely cut off from my husband as he chose to shut down both emotionally and physically) it has been far too long I have been out of the loop. Since he did pass away several months ago, I have decided to be a bit bold and take a step back out there.
Things are so different... I feel like I need a hazmat suit.... Have to worry about STDs, AIDs, now COVID crap as well. Is the age of blood tests to prove you are safe... condoms, dental dams, quite frankly does not sound so appealing to me.
I got brave and put a profile on a dating site. (So many from all over the place-- reminds me of here where I have actually come across a few I would have liked to have actually met. ) There are 2 that I have still been chatting and texting with who are local. One is a few years older and seems very nice from what I have seen and heard. He knows my situation and he does also still very much want sex and is more than happy to show me what I have missed. He wants friendship, a relationship... the thing is, he and I have not really opened up and chatted alot ... yet. is the basic nicities... good morning,good night... having a good day ? Thinking about me?...
Then there is the other one. He is my age and did come on a little strong at first. Then supposedly he didn't get a few of my messages and thought he scared me off. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and we fixed the issue and again started to chat. He and I can more easily chat about things... the thing is almost all we chat about is sex. Last night I mentioned to him about there being another man that I am still chatting with 2. I do not like to lie and wanted to tell them both I am chatting with another as well. His response was maybe I should just go with the other one. he thinks maybe he will be too much for me. We have talked about fantasies and he has already told me in detail what he would like to do with and for me. He is clearly the bad boy... and I am drawn more to him.
But he mentions coming here to the house to meet (and plans to hook up right away) While I do actually look forward to this--- the fact that first meeting is not to be wined and dined or meet and go from there... I am feeling like I will be again just used and abused. The thought of hot steamy sex and some passion is a definite draw... yet on the other hand... the other guy was planning on coming up this way and us getting take out and having a picnic and going from there.
I just want so badly to be touched, wanted, devoured (like that will ever happen at this rate) And I want the good old days where I can take someone's word that they are clean and safe. I do not want a hazmat suit. Just want a willing excited sexy man who wants me too. :( Tired of the toys. Augh!!!
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
We get to make our own decisions in this life and we get to choose how we make those decisions. Is our decision coming from a place of Love in our hearts where both people benefit from doing it or is it coming from a place of selfishness where only one person will benefit from it.
If I were you, I would ask alot of questions like "How do you see yourself 10 years from now"? If he includes you in his answer, then that should tell you he is not just looking to get his rocks off, in a one night stand, he needs to want to put some serious investment in another human being to share not just sex, but everything else in life.
God Bless
Noone my age will see 10 years from now... and not with another with him... not yet considering we have not actually met yet. (And both are divorced so I am still unsure what exactly that means yet either. )
I just feel like I will be waiting and postponing forever.
God I miss it. :(
I may want sex...
But I want and deserve more than that. :)
I want and need more than that. While I have missed out on so much and would love to find someone to share it with, I do not want to be a bed hopper. Would love to find one special guy to share all with.... I have said I just want to be one man's naughty little s*** ! (wink, wink)
I would love to find a friendship, companion and lover. (Pretty tall order , huh?) The second has not chatted all day and was very abrupt yesterday morning. I believe he is sulking and thinking this will cause me to worry and text him with that invite. I have decided to pas with him. Seems a little too aggressive for me.
The first checks in every day (including today) and will call after dinner. I am steering more his direction.
It is a scary thing nowadays. I am anxious and excited at the prospect.... but want no parts of the hazmat suit. haha. So many have been through rough relationships (or as you say, chose not to do the work) Those are the ones just wanting to reap the benefits... the sex we all crave.
After feeling like just a warm body til another better comes along, I am not willing to hop from bed to bed. I need to find more from him first.
I got rid of the second guy (bad boy) though my phone showed this morning I missed 2 attempts at videochat late last night... after a day and a half of no contact whatsoever. Clearly I am just a tool to get his rocks off.... want more than that. Last night started to chat to another... again things went from flirting to sex and I am thinking it is going to be the same way. The first guy again has checked in and expresses the interest and wants the whole deal... a friend, companion and a lover.
I wanted options.... just need a few good ones. Hang in there.
I really HATE condoms!!! They say now there are some that are very thin and feel almost invisible? Takes the fun out of feeling a guy explode inside me... plus it has to feel funky having your cum wrapped and filling your sleeve (so to speak)???