We used to be best friends...the kind of relationship that most envy.  The communication was gone, and I felt like I was walking on eggshells. My husband became super sensitive to every thing I said, then would give me the silent treatment, sometimes for days. I started pausing before responding so that I wouldn't say the wrong thing, or with the wrong tone...then he would get mad (silent) because of the pause.

  I started shutting down and staying to myself more and more. Everytime things started looking better, the same thing would happen. I told him I couldn't take the constant silent treatment and thought that it was emotionally abusive. He would start with the "I love yous", and it would be fine for a while, but would circle back again. 

Out of the blue I realized that he was drinking secretively. This had never happened in all the years I've known him. Of course he said it was my imagination, then it was because he was stressed out from his job, etc. I told him point blank that I will not be married to an alcoholic, and he needs to stop. He said he would.

That was 6 months ago. He is still hiding liquor bottles and thinks I cannot tell that he is walking wobbly or slurring speech. 

Tonight I suspected him of drinking, didn't say anything, just went to bed.  He walked in right after and I calmly told him that he didn't have to go to bed just because I was.  He got upset at my tone and accused me of " being mean".  I told him I was done. Don't come around in 3 days saying I love you like nothing happened.  He of course blamed me. I brought up the drinking, and he was shocked and didn't know what to say. He knew better than to deny it, so I just got the silent treatment again, and then he literally fell asleep! 

I couldn't sleep so I  researched about divorce in our state. I found an article that said substance abuse can be used as grounds for divorce and also custody of children. I messaged him the article stating that if he didnt get help, he would lose more than just me. (Our youngest is 10).  He woke up an hour later and went to the bathroom. I heard him go in the closet, then he sent a returned message saying sorry, drinking helps with back pain, but if I really want him gone, he will go. Then he came out fully dressed (at midnight) and took his work bag with him and left, saying sorry as he walked out.  20 minutes later and he comes back, and is now asleep on the couch.  I am just sick over this.