Sixtyplus,
That is a good one
I like not sharing the bathroom!
I will remember that when I get depressed!
Thanks for the sense of humor!!! :)
Every little bit helps along the way.

Urban,
It is always wise to count your blessings, as you have listed some of them here.
It always helps to focus on what we have instead of what we lost. Positivity & smiles, are both contagious!

I had a major post-holiday crash that took me to the depths. Where I live, the weather is dank, gray and the clouds hang low. It was a terrible personal decision to move here almost 47 years ago, but this region has always been a haven for my children while they were growing up. They all live close by, and that's one of the only reason I have stayed in this area I despise. I was tricked into moving here by my then husband, and manipulated into staying here, against my will. As I have impied, my children thrived here, so that was the greater good that came of it.

I am trying to tough out the next several weeks until spring comes, and maybe the sun will come out. Some of my circumstances that drag me down are zero intimacy, little connection, and no home of my own. My quality of life is below average, and I am not happy.

I didn't choose singleness for myself. I married a very kind, decent young man decades ago who betrayed me and turned into a violent abusive husband from the hour we arrived here. I hate having had to do this life alone. I am now worn out, still having to work with no end in sight. This is one "retirement" that is not going well.

i lived south of seattle for a year and i understand how the winter weather in your area can have a major effect on mood. it's so unfortunate that you disliked the area but were manipulated into staying. good that your children thrived there though. they must have not inherited your 'climate' genes.

Hi urban,
Your original post expressed my situation exactly, except,I have the double whammy of having chronic conditions that limit my activities.
I do stay with my daughter, but I feel that I am imposing on her and her family.
Loneliness is insidious. My friends that I have left, do have spouses, so our contact is limited. What does one do when you can't drive or get around unassisted?
I guess I am fortunate in that my kids, grandkids and great-grand kids are in the area, so I do get to see them on occasion.
I would like to have a pen pal to communicate with.
Remember, you are not alone.

Thank you so much my friends. it is wonderful to be heard and understood. I don't want to, but I have to admit to SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). In the early part the rainy dark season, I am busy preparing for, and enjoying the holidays. Sometimes just walking through a store with the fragrance of a pine candle in the air helps! Then, Christmas is over, Santa goes home, and -- ugh! The DARK TIME hangs upon me.

When I was younger I used to deal with it. Now that I am older, some of my defenses aren't working as well as they used to, and I am not as pro-active on these 8 weeks weeks of post-Christmas winter as I used to be. Has anybody else experienced this? Resources and defenses running low?

I am setting a goal this winter for next winter. I will take some vacation time, and get myself to a warm, sunny climate for 10 days in late January and early February when the problem is at its worst. I am already beginning to save money. Maybe I'll go somewhere in the Mojave Desert, way down south.

I just thank you for reading these posts. Does anybody discover that just writing about aging, and having to do it alone, helps? It sure does for me. Even though I am not at my most positive, cheerful self here, just getting the disppointments and challenges written down here helps.

I remember that for many years I still had a lot of married friends. We raised our kids together, we volunteered together in the classrooms. We were even the first soccer moms, and we truly - put our kids in the backs of our pickups with all the hay, and drove to soccer practice out in a mowed field deep in the countryside.

Then, the children grew up, and we still all stayed together. But when retirement happened, I helped them all sell their family homes, sell all their stuff, and buy huge motorhomes. I sat alone on the curb waving goodbye to the last couple years ago, and I haven't seen them since. They bought little places down south in the desert and beach communities, and still travel all over the place, TOGETHER, most of the years.

I had been so busy raising my kids as a single parent, and working to make ends meet, I forgot to even think about dating, and just had faith that when the time was right, the partner would appear. Well, obviously that didn't happen, and a couple of years ago I realized that like it or not, this is what I got in the end, and I struggle daily with intimacy and connection issues.

I have my own business where I teach a bunch of great students piano, and I'm still good at that, but peer interactions are few, and especially the intimacy, and patterns of everyday living one shares with a good spouse, just isn't there.

It's tough this way, and I didn't choose singleness, I ran out of time. I still have to work in order to make ends meet. I am either having a PTSD episode today, or, I have a bug, or both, but when i am in pain, and stalled, it all hurts so much more.

i've made several winter trips to AZ to break up the gloom of winter. (i live in the mountains where there is snow on the ground until the 3rd week in april!) i found daily sunshine to be a wonderful mood booster. and the warm days certainly didn't diminish the effect. so i think you have a meaningful goal for next winter.

Well gee, I can identify with many of you, many or most! My married grandaughter, whom I practically raised, recently moved to San Diego -- I am in Washington State, and I thought my heart would break. I missed my little Greats so much and granddaughter and hubby were always doing nice things for me. My two older sons are retired and having fun with their RV toys, one son is a widower. My children do not go out of their way to visit me, they send flowers instead. I moved inland from the Oregon Coast after being alone for 2 years, I found the Coastal weather too much to bear all alone. 'Bought a home in a gated community for folks over 55 years old. I go to the beauty shop twice a week and have my nails done regularly. 'Have a housekeeper every other week. Yes, I am very lonely, my husband and I had a great relationship and I really miss him. He would be difficult to replace. I find the Internet is a good source of companionship, I have a Kindle Fire and a cell text phone that are always there waiting for me. One of my former students has a husband with Dementia and she and I are in constant contact. Netflix and Amazon Prime are always there when I am so inclined. There is no perfect answer but there are many things you can try you just have to roll up you sleeves and look around. I am 82 years old! KK

While I was not single by choice originally, today I certainly am. I am a full time job all by myself. I answer to no one except myself. I like that

I am 77 and live in Fl in a 55 and older place. I love it here, there is so much to do. I could stay busy from morning till night. I do some things
but I like to read and send some days just stay here reading. I have two dogs for company. I know most of my neighbors and like them. I can
go to them for help when I need it. There are also a lot of retired handymen who will do things very cheaply just for something to do.
There are dances every Friday and Sat nights. but I don't dance anymore since I broke my hip. I have no problem walking and I go to
the gym which is geared for us older people. If anyone wants to come down for a visit let me know. I was born in South Florida
so I don't know much about snow. I left my husband about 15 months ago. I don't have a lot of money but I love being on my own and seeing people when I choose to see them. My daughter lives about 20 miles from here and stops in about once a week. I did cry
a lot when I first left my husband and was depressed but now I cannot imagine living anywhere else.

The best of luck to all of you. I did try meet ups once but will have too again maybe. We have over 200 clubs in here and there is not a lot of need to look elsewhere. I made up my mind I am going to be happy, no matter what. I am kind of a loner but here I can pick and choose as I said.

Again I wish all of you happiness and good health.

Hello everyone, These posts are all over 9 months ago but I thought I' d come in and comment. I'm in the same situation as some of you. For one, I can relate to what SixtyPlus says about home repairs. I have one same leak in the kitchen faucet. I have had many repairs done and they have all been successful. But I don't like bringing people into the house either who I don't know. I'm thinking of getting a wrench and taking off the faucet handle myself (which I will not really do) I will probably go to the local hardware store and get some advice. These past 2 years, I have pretty much resigned myself to knowing I will not have a partner. I have 2 difficult illnesses now and one involves fatigue. The other involves being on a rather limited veggie diet. Most men don't understand what I'm talking about, or they ignore what I'm saying. I'm seventy plus and raised two children as a single parent. Luckily, I was able to travel before a lot of these symptoms got the better of me. Once in a while, I'll take a day trip with a group. I'm able to go out and have friends. There are definite blessings in my life for which I"m very grateful. There are just more challenges as we age I guess than I bargained for. It seems like we all know that here. Some cities have senior centers and they will offer things like classes, trips and socializing. I have been doing this for several years and find it very rewarding. Just wishing everyone here the very best. It is encouraging to find a group of open caring people. Keep posting if you will.

I am older than I ever wanted to be and really not happy about still having to work full-time to make ends meet. I don't feel lonely or depressed; rather I feel like my social connections are keeping me here against my better judgement. I am changing from a productive citizen into an economic burden on society; this is not the way I wanted it to be.

With exceptions of several years time, I was single, alone by circumstance then by choice in my twenties. By circumstance, then by choice for 20 years in my thirties and forties. I was preparing myself for the possibility and eventuality that I'd be alone into my senior years. It was a good thing for me, I thought about what my life would be like if I continued to live alone.
It helps me to think about interests, hobbies that I could do. It can be difficult meeting new people, sometimes it's easier to establish acquaintances.
I won't have any grandchildren. I don't have any nieces or nephews. A few years ago I renewed contacts with several cousins my age and their children & grandchildren. I also attended a high school class reunion, my first one in 15 years. Establishing contacts and seeing and hearing how we all changed, the things we all let go. We don't want to lose this, we need each other. I would look for similar aged people and activities as well as keeping up with the younger generation. I don't know if I'd seek out younger people as much if I didn't have contact with my cousins children.

I am alone by choice. Loads of factors played into the equation. But I'd not have made a great husband and father. Kids would have deserved better. Everything surrounding this issue was influenced by a narcissistic parent. I have forgiven but I don't talk with the parent anymore. But Christmas is coming. I decided to celebrate that on around the sixth of January. That way I'll have something to look forward to. But being alone is usually OK with me. But ,like around now, it does have it's drawbacks. I have been alone for so many Christmases now it is not funny. Much easier to handle now. But there are always those few nostalgic moments. But I'll get through them. I got through them many times already.