Schizophrenia Support Group

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by impairments in the perception of reality and by significant social dysfunction. Untreated schizophrenia is typically characterized by demonstrating disorganized thinking and experiencing delusions or auditory hallucinations.

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Overwhelmed/Underwhelmed !!!

Max-Harding
Max-Harding
HI. I find myself overwhelmed with ideas (memiors, ficiton, piano playing, meeting new friends) and underwhelmed with the reality of my life. LIke I want so much but do so little..I think I need to simplify my "ambitions"..I will give this ficiton workshop a try and let all other things languish as they may, even the piano lessons (I hate/am unable to do the basic practicing...a long story but that's the fact)....it will be good for me to try to develop my fiction writing skills as it is the only thing I am remotely able to do and my interest in reading stuff is increasing = a new development...cool! Time to see what I can do this Sunday late morning...church is a no go for me, though I claim the oft applied attribute "spiritual but not religious" that they have on all these online "dating" sites of which I don't participate any longer) So let the spirit bloom where it may...my hope is it will provide some direciton....Amen.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The more you edit while writing and think about your end result and what people are going to say...the worse its going to get.
Trust me on this.

Just write. Just WRITE.

When you've written until you are DONE--you will know--THEN go back and edit and worry if its good enough.

Ok?

Breathe, and write.

HUGS
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Thanks, Humun,

I'll take the advice and the HUG...I Just came back from bringing my cat to the vet to get blood drawn (thyroid problems) and it became obvious that I need more contact with real people, I'm isolating so much worrying..blah blah.....so I am going to a yoga class this afternoon and hopefully do some writing before or after..or both....
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Yoga class was great but, as often happens with yoga for me, it brings up difficult feelings. Earlier I arranged for lesson #2 of 8 on the piano in about two weeks (lots of practicing to do. It's great stuff)..the teacher was welcoming. Now I'm dealing with tyrannical voices from inside my head and outside through my open window...I guess I'll just have to live with it....time to listen to a little music...I have a pretty good library on iTunes...hope everyone else is doing well.
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Grim News = I have to put one of my cats down.....she is very sick and her medicine costs a fortune...which has been necessitating me looking for Section 202 housing and living on hardly anything and eating up my savings, It will be a big relief, I'm sorry to say. I've been facing this off and on for over a year and now it's just become too much,. I will keep her for a week or two more while her current medicine keeps her going,...sad..I lost two cats before this current set of two,....I don't know how my remainiing cat will be by herself, but I'm here full time now and maybe that will help,..otherwise I guess I can get another cat if Midnight needs feline company,... it shits, but my mental health has been deterorating over the money and the necessity to move...the second highest stressor next to losing a loved one....I can't handle it any more....she's been a good cat and I rescued her from a group home of about 18 cats many years ago...
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Suffice it to say, I just cant' do it....this cat, Olympia, have very special relationship.. I just won't kill her...I have to find another way....money is a bummer.
deleted_user
deleted_user
she is suffering....

dont be selfish !!!!

let her go...
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
I'lll have to think about it...she's not in any pain it's just that her body will eat itself to death with out this expensive medication, which is screwing up my finances....like I have to move to a cheaper rent after being her 20 years....She's older now and has had a better life with me but ....I need to take care of my mental health too, the lack of money is driving me nuts..
deleted_user
deleted_user
YOU DONT FEEL HER PAIN...
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Yeah, Caz, you are making some good points,....For me the worst will be the guilt at having ended another llfe, but to do nothing could end in disaster and me struggling to find cheaper rent (I have the best that NYC can offer for the money and I love my apartment) and what will happen to my cats then?? She;ll be okay in Kitty heaven....Thanks for caring...
deleted_user
deleted_user
its what big cats do !!!

grrrrrrrrr

big kitty smile for ya bud
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Well, I called the vet's office and told them that Olympia will be put to sleep...I'll speak to the actual vet tomorrow. This has been a long time coming and it's just gotten to be too much...Poor little thing, so innocent and a fighter...it is one of the true curses about being a pet owner that we outlive them by so much....blaaah !
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Can't do it ! Won't do it ! It is totatlly against my ethics and feelings to killl this poor little sweetheart of a cat.. I will eat cereal the rest of my life if I have to!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
How old is the cat? What is her prognosis? Will she pass away naturally without medicines? Or will it be painful?
She is just an animal...and I know that hurts but preserving yourself is more logical.

HUGS
Max-Harding
Max-Harding
Nah, I believe all living things are connected and it is a sin to kill a creature out of convenience....she is older, and will waste away to death without her thyroid meds...I am more than willing, now, having been with her trying to make this decision, to make whatever sacrifices I have to make to keep her with me....thanks for your thoughts anyway..