Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
not a birthing push another kind.
people in my life lately have been trying to push me beyond my coping skills lately in an effort to be helpful both in my cervical recovery and my RA flare and during my Short Term Disability (otherwise known as use of my vacation and earned sick time - it has been a blissful vacation also hasn't it? :)....
in an effort to gather words, I read this again. Many of you have probably read it countless times but I thought it would be great to share it again.
http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/coping/looksick.html
the whole thing is a good read but if you don't have time to read the entire article here are the first three commandments:
1. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Are Not Truly Ill.
You will not convince us otherwise with remarks such as, You LOOK good, or But you dont LOOK sick. Even if you meant them as compliments, we perceive those kind of statements as insults because they imply that you do not believe us.
2. Thou Shalt Not Imply That The Illness Can Be Easily Fixed.
People with chronic illnesses are persistent, if nothing else. We hang on, day after day. We see countless doctors, take numerous medications, do endless research, and continue hoping that the answer is just around the next corner. So please do not insult us by delivering diagnoses, remedies, or comments such as, Why dont you just... or Have you tried... or You should.... If it truly were that simple, I assure you that we would have done it already. We are sick, not stupid.
3. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Brought This On Ourselves.
We did not choose to become ill, just as we do not choose to stay ill. Simply having a positive attitude is not going to solve our problem. One would never imply that a quadriplegic chose such a trial for themselves, or could get better if they really wanted to. Please afford chronically ill patients the same respect.
people in my life lately have been trying to push me beyond my coping skills lately in an effort to be helpful both in my cervical recovery and my RA flare and during my Short Term Disability (otherwise known as use of my vacation and earned sick time - it has been a blissful vacation also hasn't it? :)....
in an effort to gather words, I read this again. Many of you have probably read it countless times but I thought it would be great to share it again.
http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/coping/looksick.html
the whole thing is a good read but if you don't have time to read the entire article here are the first three commandments:
1. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Are Not Truly Ill.
You will not convince us otherwise with remarks such as, You LOOK good, or But you dont LOOK sick. Even if you meant them as compliments, we perceive those kind of statements as insults because they imply that you do not believe us.
2. Thou Shalt Not Imply That The Illness Can Be Easily Fixed.
People with chronic illnesses are persistent, if nothing else. We hang on, day after day. We see countless doctors, take numerous medications, do endless research, and continue hoping that the answer is just around the next corner. So please do not insult us by delivering diagnoses, remedies, or comments such as, Why dont you just... or Have you tried... or You should.... If it truly were that simple, I assure you that we would have done it already. We are sick, not stupid.
3. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Brought This On Ourselves.
We did not choose to become ill, just as we do not choose to stay ill. Simply having a positive attitude is not going to solve our problem. One would never imply that a quadriplegic chose such a trial for themselves, or could get better if they really wanted to. Please afford chronically ill patients the same respect.
Hugs
Patrice
but i am still pleased cause i can wave to you with my left hand!
Sheri, oh goddess yeah go do it. and put little christmas lights around the whole thing. sure it would make a great stuffer in the cards....I think :) - you have a sense of humor that matches alto. It's nice cause it makes people smile.
Ros
Wishing you strength as well meaning people say the stupidest things to RAers. And sending you strength as you recover from surgery.
Your great wit will carry you (and in all of us on this site) through the tough times.
I really loved reading that piece. Thank you. I am posting it at work on our bulletin board and at my local Starbucks bulletin board.
This reminds me of reading on RA Warrior about how there should be a movement to have the word arthritis taken out of the disease name as it inadvertently makes it sound like a common easily curable ailment.
Hug to you.
Heal and feel better!
Nancy