Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
not a birthing push another kind.
people in my life lately have been trying to push me beyond my coping skills lately in an effort to be helpful both in my cervical recovery and my RA flare and during my Short Term Disability (otherwise known as use of my vacation and earned sick time - it has been a blissful vacation also hasn't it? :)....
in an effort to gather words, I read this again. Many of you have probably read it countless times but I thought it would be great to share it again.
http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/coping/looksick.html
the whole thing is a good read but if you don't have time to read the entire article here are the first three commandments:
1. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Are Not Truly Ill.
You will not convince us otherwise with remarks such as, You LOOK good, or But you dont LOOK sick. Even if you meant them as compliments, we perceive those kind of statements as insults because they imply that you do not believe us.
2. Thou Shalt Not Imply That The Illness Can Be Easily Fixed.
People with chronic illnesses are persistent, if nothing else. We hang on, day after day. We see countless doctors, take numerous medications, do endless research, and continue hoping that the answer is just around the next corner. So please do not insult us by delivering diagnoses, remedies, or comments such as, Why dont you just... or Have you tried... or You should.... If it truly were that simple, I assure you that we would have done it already. We are sick, not stupid.
3. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Brought This On Ourselves.
We did not choose to become ill, just as we do not choose to stay ill. Simply having a positive attitude is not going to solve our problem. One would never imply that a quadriplegic chose such a trial for themselves, or could get better if they really wanted to. Please afford chronically ill patients the same respect.
people in my life lately have been trying to push me beyond my coping skills lately in an effort to be helpful both in my cervical recovery and my RA flare and during my Short Term Disability (otherwise known as use of my vacation and earned sick time - it has been a blissful vacation also hasn't it? :)....
in an effort to gather words, I read this again. Many of you have probably read it countless times but I thought it would be great to share it again.
http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/coping/looksick.html
the whole thing is a good read but if you don't have time to read the entire article here are the first three commandments:
1. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Are Not Truly Ill.
You will not convince us otherwise with remarks such as, You LOOK good, or But you dont LOOK sick. Even if you meant them as compliments, we perceive those kind of statements as insults because they imply that you do not believe us.
2. Thou Shalt Not Imply That The Illness Can Be Easily Fixed.
People with chronic illnesses are persistent, if nothing else. We hang on, day after day. We see countless doctors, take numerous medications, do endless research, and continue hoping that the answer is just around the next corner. So please do not insult us by delivering diagnoses, remedies, or comments such as, Why dont you just... or Have you tried... or You should.... If it truly were that simple, I assure you that we would have done it already. We are sick, not stupid.
3. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Brought This On Ourselves.
We did not choose to become ill, just as we do not choose to stay ill. Simply having a positive attitude is not going to solve our problem. One would never imply that a quadriplegic chose such a trial for themselves, or could get better if they really wanted to. Please afford chronically ill patients the same respect.
I'm sorry you are having such a bad flare right now. That is just plain wrong. You have enough to deal with in recuperating from your surgery. I sure hope the surgeon gave you good pain meds.
I'm sorry to hear you are being pushed. To be blunt, that sucks. : (
I know I'm a broken record, but I agree with the person who said they wished "arthritis" wasn't part of the name of this. It causes massive confusion. Even my very best friend in the world the other day, who I thought understood, made the comment that her dad struggled with arthritis in a knee - so she "got it." He does not have RA. I remember, very clearly, sputtering out: "Wait, wait, wait - I do not have arthritis, I have an autoimmune disease, it is not the same thing." (This is very brave, for me).
She looked confused.
I had explained this before to her, so I just wanted to get up and leave. Even though I love her, it was just one of those moments where I felt like giving up trying to ever explain again to anyone.
Is it really that difficult to understand?!
Ros - you have my best wishes.
I work in healthcare and you'd think we would be kinder to our co-workers, however sadly this is just not true. Hang in there!
You do not have to eat gin soaked raisins tonight. But you have to find the basset and heat up the rice
Thanks for your post -
Be well, heal soon
Bluedogs2
Coping skills? Hmmmm, working on those myself.
Good luck my friend.
Here's to coping!
Rest & heal & as my dad used to say when my mother was in a mood
" Let it go in one ear & out the other".
I'm trying but also learning just how much untreated RA & Prednisone can contribute to "open mouth insert foot".
Thanks for sharing.
Sammy