My books are in California!!

I think it's funny the way we are tracking them.

I got mine and I read the whole dang thing! Then I freaked out about seeing my own writing in print. Then, I heard a great lady at the crisis center speak out about how she freaked out when an article about her was in print. I felt soooo much better!!
I am FLOORED by the words that are written in this book, I put sticky notes in spots where I could go back and read words over and over again like "don't worry if you didn't fight, you did what you had to do to survive" "Anger is o.k." , "find solace in exercise and in the outdoors" and OMG I looked up at the stars last night and thought "yeah, lots of darkness, but look at all those little lights in there". That image and the last article from "Johanna (I dub thee most powerful and awesome ass-kicking super agent of justice) brought tears to my eyes!!

Remember, if you're a contributor I need you to message me your address so I can send you your free copy, too.

Did you get your copies, Matt?! Ohmygosh do you love it?!

Nope, not yet. Stupid UPS should bring them tomorrow.

I got mine yesterday and read it through last night.

1 . All of you that contributed...Your letters were absolutely beautiful and I loved every one of them

2. Matt your prologue and intro to the letters werer fantastic and the artwork and design was breathtaking....you did good buddy! :)

hahah! Stupid UPS....

My two copies came today!!! I stopped everything and sat down and read every letter.

Wow.

I am so so proud of my tribe right now that I could burst! You are all so amazing and I love each one of you!! There just aren't adequate words.

Some of us didn't write letters or didn't get them in on time or wrote letters they hated so they didn't send or whatever. I'm one of those...but we are in the book too. It's individual letters, yes, but each one of us has touched the lives of each other. I read the letters of the people I've met in person and I knew how honest and brave those letters were, and how not a single one could have been written without a tribe of Survivors...that's us, each and every one of us. This book is such an awesome and beautiful celebration of us.

Back when I first got my copy of RAR, I read something in there about belonging to a group of survivors, and I have to confess I had a really negative reaction! I muttered something like "Who wants to belong to THAT club?" But somehow I came here anyway, and met some of the most incredible people on the planet and I am so so proud to be a member...to have found a place where I belong.

I'd love to go on about each and every letter...I was smiling and crying and laughing as I read, and I was blown away by the wisdom and I loved the stuff that Matt wrote. He captured some of you perfectly.

And one more thing...I am beyond proud of those who used their full names. It amazes me. I actually cried when I got to the bottom of one and read "Megan Gardner". You are my hero.

You are all my heroes.

I so want to get my hands on this book.

But, I sat here and imagined this book being gifted, by a person who knows the secret shame of a friend...and the friend buys this book, out of love for that friend...and I picture the friend, leafing through the pages, trying to not look too interested...until the gifting friend excuses herself and says her good-byes. Then, I imagine the friend who has received this book as a gift, opening the pages, and drinking in the words, and finding comfort, and humanity, and warmth, and hope. I imagine a young woman's life forever changed by the words of hope she finds between the covers of this book - and I imagine her passing that hope on to yet another wounded friend.

I sometimes catch myself wondering where I might be in my life right now, if many years ago there had been a RAR...and letters written to me, as we have written letters to others. Can you imagine the timelessness of this book? No matter who picks it up, no matter when...what future decades may come...those words will still apply. Geepers...I like that!

Matt...imagine me pinching your cheek like some old maid aunt would do at a family reunion...cuz you are just so darned super for putting so much effort into this...I don't even have mine, but I can still see it, through the words and excitement of these posts here. Thanks Matt...I can't really explain it, but this book, at this time -- no coincidences, right? I am awed by the courage of contributors, and...honored to be included in this work.

No coincidences...definitely not.

Excuse me if I get a bit Pentecostal for a moment. I know a wonderful woman who will say about certain songs that touch the heart and soul in a powerful way, "That is an annointed song." When I was reading LTS, I thought, "This is an anointed book." It's hard to believe the letters weren't carefully orchestrated, that Matt didn't hand out specific assignments for each person. The letters fit together so perfectly. This is no accident, no coincidence.

I WANT TO SEE THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Giving the fish her copy soon!!!

I accidently deleted the email that b&n gave me to track my books!!! Now, I have to just plain ol wait :( I hope that they come today so I can give Gill his copy tomorrow. I want to surprise him. I never told him I was participating in this :)

i have decided to give a copy to my deputy da and my victim's advocate since i wrote about reporting. i will send them each a note with the book - a nice note - explaining why i've sent the book. they both helped me through a really tough process (that i am still dealing with...btw....still have the restitution hearing this month). but, i think that the dda in particular tries to separate herself from the victim. in a way, she probably needs to so she can do her job. there were times when she was down right rude though. and, more recently, she and the advocate kept information from me on purpose because they knew i would be upset. and when i'm upset, i advocate for myself loudly. i felt betrayed by them...and they know it and have apologized. so, i think reading these letters might remind them of what we deal with, that we are human, and that being victimized and traumatized aren't just words to throw around. i hope this makes sense. i think it will be good. i want them to understand me and my motivation for pushing them so hard. and i want future survivors going through the legal system to be treated in a softer, more understanding fashion. i still haven't seen the book but imagine that it will convey my message.

i'm also going to give a copy to the local rape trauma services and san francisco women against rape. :)