Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
EmpoweredOKC
As my friends and journal readers know, I am developing a book on rape recovery that differs from ANY other book ever written. The content has been largely determined by you, the women of dailystrength, as to what YOU think women in recovery from rape should find in print. I'm a clinical therapist who specializes in rape trauma, and I became the first male to win the national award for excellence in my work with rape survivors. (I'm only stating that to establish that this book has clinical credibility, rather than just being a collection of opinions and personal monologues by me).
The purpose of the book is to address the common fears and setbacks that slow progress toward recovery, and there is a previous thread ("help me write my book") that describes the topics it will cover.
The book is written with a sense of respect for the reader, rather than condescending platitudes or sugary "inspiration." It is excruciatingly researched for accuracy, and it will approach women at a level of empowerment, rather than "poor you" patriarchal pity. Some of my clients, past and present, have been reading preliminary manuscripts and, to be honest, regard it as the most helpful resource they've found in their recovery. I expect the book to be highly regarded by laypeople and academics alike.
I am nearly half done with the manuscript, and I'm producing about 10 new pages a day, the fastest I've ever written for print!
I'm openly inviting anyone here to contribute personal writings to my book. You should know, it's an entirely selfish request--I can't pay, and the only reward you get is that your words might help other women in rape recovery. But if you're at the point of wanting to do something to actively promote positive messages for women in crisis, I'd love to add some of your words. You can write under a pseudonym, of course, and you can send writings to me personally rather than posting them here.
I ALWAYS make myself available, including by phone, if anyone needs to establish that I am legitimate, given the unfortunate number of so-called "helpers" who pop up here only to prey on vulnerability. I have a well-established daily presence here, and my interactions have been 100% positive with every single dailystrength forum member. So I'm only asking as one who has become gradually accepted here.
Here's what I am looking for:
Positive, strong, insightful essays by women who are determined to succeed at recovery. I can provide some of the topics that need some "filling in" by women's narratives in another post, if the response here is good. I'm trying to present models of women who are positive without sugar-coating or avoiding the issue; women who have been to hell and back and see themselves as victors and valuable people.
Here's what I am NOT looking for:
Statements of despair or self-rejection. I'm trying to show an alternative to the "I'm broken/empty/damaged/ugly/worthless" kinds of thinking that pervade this trauma. To be perfectly blunt, this project is not for anyone complacent about remaining stuck where they are; I'm trying to mobilize an invisible army of women who "fight back" against the trauma of violence. The premise of the book is that women in recovery from rape are far stronger than they have been led to believe, and recovery is rediscovery of that inherent strength.
I'm not looking for poetry, to be honest, or lyrics. This isn't creative writing, this is self-exploratory writing. I need statements, either in essay or journal entry form. These are the words of women who have searched themselves and found something remarkable, who don't mind talking about the pain they have lived through but the hope they insist on grasping anyway. I want words of women who are able to fearlessly explain, "this is why I struggled, and how I felt...Here's how I struggle now, and what I have discovered!" so that other women, new to recovery, can recognize themselves and feel led toward more positive outcomes.
You have to be your own judge of your readiness to contribute, because I don't know any of you personally and I do not want to be exploitive of anyone. I'll assume that if you are enthusiastic, it's because you judge yourself to be proudly willing to help.
If people are skeptical, I will withdraw my request immediately. But if--as I suspect--my peers here will be eager to collectively contribute to a positive portrayal of rape recovery for other women who are hurting, please indicate so! At that point, I'll list some of the topics I'm hopeful to get writings on.
The purpose of the book is to address the common fears and setbacks that slow progress toward recovery, and there is a previous thread ("help me write my book") that describes the topics it will cover.
The book is written with a sense of respect for the reader, rather than condescending platitudes or sugary "inspiration." It is excruciatingly researched for accuracy, and it will approach women at a level of empowerment, rather than "poor you" patriarchal pity. Some of my clients, past and present, have been reading preliminary manuscripts and, to be honest, regard it as the most helpful resource they've found in their recovery. I expect the book to be highly regarded by laypeople and academics alike.
I am nearly half done with the manuscript, and I'm producing about 10 new pages a day, the fastest I've ever written for print!
I'm openly inviting anyone here to contribute personal writings to my book. You should know, it's an entirely selfish request--I can't pay, and the only reward you get is that your words might help other women in rape recovery. But if you're at the point of wanting to do something to actively promote positive messages for women in crisis, I'd love to add some of your words. You can write under a pseudonym, of course, and you can send writings to me personally rather than posting them here.
I ALWAYS make myself available, including by phone, if anyone needs to establish that I am legitimate, given the unfortunate number of so-called "helpers" who pop up here only to prey on vulnerability. I have a well-established daily presence here, and my interactions have been 100% positive with every single dailystrength forum member. So I'm only asking as one who has become gradually accepted here.
Here's what I am looking for:
Positive, strong, insightful essays by women who are determined to succeed at recovery. I can provide some of the topics that need some "filling in" by women's narratives in another post, if the response here is good. I'm trying to present models of women who are positive without sugar-coating or avoiding the issue; women who have been to hell and back and see themselves as victors and valuable people.
Here's what I am NOT looking for:
Statements of despair or self-rejection. I'm trying to show an alternative to the "I'm broken/empty/damaged/ugly/worthless" kinds of thinking that pervade this trauma. To be perfectly blunt, this project is not for anyone complacent about remaining stuck where they are; I'm trying to mobilize an invisible army of women who "fight back" against the trauma of violence. The premise of the book is that women in recovery from rape are far stronger than they have been led to believe, and recovery is rediscovery of that inherent strength.
I'm not looking for poetry, to be honest, or lyrics. This isn't creative writing, this is self-exploratory writing. I need statements, either in essay or journal entry form. These are the words of women who have searched themselves and found something remarkable, who don't mind talking about the pain they have lived through but the hope they insist on grasping anyway. I want words of women who are able to fearlessly explain, "this is why I struggled, and how I felt...Here's how I struggle now, and what I have discovered!" so that other women, new to recovery, can recognize themselves and feel led toward more positive outcomes.
You have to be your own judge of your readiness to contribute, because I don't know any of you personally and I do not want to be exploitive of anyone. I'll assume that if you are enthusiastic, it's because you judge yourself to be proudly willing to help.
If people are skeptical, I will withdraw my request immediately. But if--as I suspect--my peers here will be eager to collectively contribute to a positive portrayal of rape recovery for other women who are hurting, please indicate so! At that point, I'll list some of the topics I'm hopeful to get writings on.
In reading old posts, I ran across one...well, I stopped after I got to that one, because it upset me. I had made a post on a point I wanted to basically applaud the actions of some here on DS. In doing so, I inadvertently failed to see the "flip side" of the issue, hence, it was pointed out that I may have hurt the feelings of those I had not intended to harm. Well, I ended up in a huge apology and I felt just horrible. Gosh, I remember just how horrible I felt...not good.
Well, my good friends here reminded me that, we all try to help. We all want to make all the pain of our friends here go away. That's all you did. You don't have anything to feel bad about, because your heart was absolutely in the right place. Your intention was clear to us all.
This is just another reminder of what an amazing bunch of folks pop in and out of this forum...all for the sake of healing. We seek our own healing, and we seek to selflessly aid others in their healing. It is abundantly clear that was your intent. I personally want to thank you for forgiving me my harshness in my response. I didn't want to hurt anyone - but, I am very deeply moved by the people who authored, co-authored, and contributed journaling to the Resurrection After Rape book. Having tried so many paths to recovery, from a gang-rape in 1970 - to find this work and the healing I have accomplished through the work...very hard work, well, it stung a bit to have that attacked by Tom.
Likewise, regarding Tom, I wish him only the best. I fear his words were borne out of his very deep pain, and we all know about deep pain. So, I wish for him only peace and healing.
Kaye is so right about "no sweat". No one here will fault you for stepping up and defending another you genuinely felt was hurting.
I am happy to have you as a friend.