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I am afraid to look for work.
I am afraid that I will fail on a better job.
I have interviewed poorly before.
I think I know what I have been doing wrong and will present myself better, but still, I fear interviews.
My manager is SO amazingly wretched that I'm beginning to feel a loss of self-respect because I am still working for this bozo. He wasn't always quite this bad, but he's been an exemplar of the Peter Principle for a long time:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle
...CC, if this dude can avoid getting fired? You can totally hold down a job somewhere in middle management. You are way, way smarter and more together than this turkey...
( I trained someone on my post last week, he's worked for the same guy for a while... I said of the manager " He used to be better than this," and the new guy agreed: " He's gotten worse." )
So, I have to fight this fear. Big fear.
I had a nervous breakdown in 2011, I got to get a bunch of repressed memories back, and find out I have other personalities. I was a wreck for a while. Getting a better job is a gamble, it will require me to handle more stress.
If I don't make more money, though, I won't have the money needed to get my fiance over here. I need to hire a good lawyer, because DHS is not down with the crazy. It may not matter that we will already be married, that I will be applying for a spousal visa. It may not matter that he is amazingly better on lithium. They will look at all the suicide attempts and hospitalizations and go " uh-uh, nope."
So I need a better job. Otherwise I will never get to live on the same continent with my guy.
I am afraid that I will fail on a better job.
I have interviewed poorly before.
I think I know what I have been doing wrong and will present myself better, but still, I fear interviews.
My manager is SO amazingly wretched that I'm beginning to feel a loss of self-respect because I am still working for this bozo. He wasn't always quite this bad, but he's been an exemplar of the Peter Principle for a long time:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle
...CC, if this dude can avoid getting fired? You can totally hold down a job somewhere in middle management. You are way, way smarter and more together than this turkey...
( I trained someone on my post last week, he's worked for the same guy for a while... I said of the manager " He used to be better than this," and the new guy agreed: " He's gotten worse." )
So, I have to fight this fear. Big fear.
I had a nervous breakdown in 2011, I got to get a bunch of repressed memories back, and find out I have other personalities. I was a wreck for a while. Getting a better job is a gamble, it will require me to handle more stress.
If I don't make more money, though, I won't have the money needed to get my fiance over here. I need to hire a good lawyer, because DHS is not down with the crazy. It may not matter that we will already be married, that I will be applying for a spousal visa. It may not matter that he is amazingly better on lithium. They will look at all the suicide attempts and hospitalizations and go " uh-uh, nope."
So I need a better job. Otherwise I will never get to live on the same continent with my guy.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
If you're married you have the right to give him legal residency.
And a better job won't mean more stress, will it? What's "Better"? More pay alone?
As for your manager---ugh. My hubby's previous boss was reerred to as "the rabid ferret". Pleasant person, you can see.
Gentle blessings and good luck to you....
If they consider him a threat to safety I can be legally married to him and still not get him entry, much less permanent residence.
...But the hurdle's even higher to try to get me into England, even if married.
In order to do that, he has to be making the equivalent of about 35,000US$ a year for 5 years.
I am just not making enough money. I might find a low stress job that pays better, but I need to get out of guarding. It is never going to pay what I need it to.
I heard is cheap and really a nice place to live. :)
In fact people here in Mexico City are very unfriendly.....The only person that has spoken to me at a starbucks is a guy from the UK.
He lives here teaching geography in a private school.
I love people from the UK.
I do not know a period from a coma, so its not for me....but there are lots of English Teaching jobs.
https://www.google.com.mx/search?q=puerto+vallarta+pics+mexico&biw=1138&bih=542&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=l9UaVZy4LcWXyAT1tYHYBQ&ved=0CBsQsAQ
Dunno.
...We are contemplating a third country. But I'm afraid I'd fall apart, I kind of tend to do that a lot.
The only reason why I was able to make it to England to see him? I thought I'd be losing him, and I did not want to do so without never having met him in person. I had a panic attack in each airport...
I am so used to having panic attacks I am bored with having them, like " again, really? This is stupid."
Butttttttaaaaa. . . .
Fears borne of job hunting really can show that you are smart and paying attention. It is all to easy to end up in an even worse situation. When I find myself in circumstances where I need to make a radical change, I validate my fears as fair warning then proceed with my best guesses. Not too far different from your current reaction to panic attacks, I think. The fears are there and valid, but. . . Who the boss???
but that is me. . .
Gentle support while you find what works for you, blue.
Earning more money can be a sign of respect shown to you....thus a better job.
Being treated with respect and working fr someone you respect would be a better job.
Working at something interesting and having freedom to make descions about how you approach tasks would be a better job.
In some ways, a better job can be less stressful.
One thing is that aside from security, the reasons to leave are (it seems to me as I read your post) unequivocal. Yes?
I am sorry you are having a crappy day. ((hugs))
Some times it helps to have a place. Pick a responsible date for you the move, and mark it on the calendar. This will give you a target date. Once in writing you will start to plan for that date, so things such as a new job will fall into place, or that is the thought.
Next, read up on the latest and greatest interview questions. You will not be as nervous if you know the questions and have the answer memorized. Read the job posting, put yourself in the hiring managers shoes. What would you look for in a person for this job? Research the company, it competitors and if you can fit in some knowledge of the company whoa! They eat it when you can say things like, I see last fall your product was voted best choice by the consumers group of America, or crap like that. Listen intensely, ask questions like you are interested in the company. Generally have a conversation with the person. An interview is nothing more than a talk for you to explore what the job and company are like, and if it would be a good fit for you. Careful of the I word. This interview should be about what you can do for the company. Use a lot of team work stuff, such as if hired I would love to be part of health and safety team. Even if you don't want to do it, it shows interest in the company. etc.
I am fairly good at finding jobs, having good interviews and getting hired. I just cannot keep them. email me if you want some help
I can read people very well, deal with annoyed and angry people, run people out of places they are not supposed to be, come up with solutions to problems that arise, work weird hours, deal with strange people, run miscellaneous errands, follow explicit and precise ( preferably written) instructions when required to do a novel task, answer phones, write instructions or copy of various sorts, write concise and descriptive reports of incidents...
....kick someone in the head, throw someone, intimidate trespassers, clear a building properly in case of a bomb threat, de-escalate a potentially violent situation, perform crowd control, get co-operation out of people who are not necessarily in consensus reality, and other useful things.
I am much better with a shotgun than a pistol, but hope to never have to shoot anything but paper targets.
I can also do nurse's aide things, take vitals, do advanced first aid, use an AED device and perform CPR. I am accustomed to being around deceased people and body fluids are not likely to send me running for the toilet.
I'm reasonably computer-literate, though I do not program. I can generally figure out 4/5ths of various devices I am introduced to, though this may include random button pushing and shouting...they obey you more when you shout, you know.