Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Okay I'm just gonna rant, here we go hopefully.
Why does everyone around me always want my help but when I need help no one's fucking around! The only person around to listen to me is my best friend and he lives all the way in Toronto!! It's so frustrating how many times someone will text me or call me complaining but when I do I get too emotional and then they leave. Only Greg can handle my emotional break because we practically grew up together!
I have no motivation. No reason to live, no one seems to get that, all my mom's worried about it my grade which is an F I'll admit but it's almost a Decade. But my only motivation is voice acting but everyone says it isn't a good paying job. I know but it's so much fun. My dad's drag on, hours are years and I still can't find motivation. I tried just myself but I myself can barely function out of YouTube. YouTube is my life, started it this year and quit and I'm trying to get back into it. It's just frustrating
Everything is jumbled. My mom's trying to be motivational but in reality she's just making the war in my head louder and more infuriating. She trusts she really does, but they only thing that seems to calm me down is YouTube and my favourite Jack. He and I have the same personality type, loud, energetic, bubbly, but god fuck this entire year has changed me, Gregg says I really have changed, he says my voice has matured and he doesn't like that. My voice is deeper where before it was a bit higher. I talk quieter and my words mumble together frustrating everyone around me. I used to annoy everyone in a good way now I just annoy them in a bad way. Anyway that all my brain and physical body can handle for the day. Just think this major depression spurt came just because I'm sick.
Anyway THANKS FOR READING
-shu
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
If you are in a depression Cry to the point you have failing grades some therapy might help if you aren't already in it..... Another hug and a blessing......xo
Dunno. . . Just wondering in my just-a-patient sort of way. . .
Gentle empathy, Shu. It sucks to feel alone with this baggage. . . We are here for you.