Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've been gone from here for a long time, months, as is my typical M.O. I'm sorry if it offends anyone that is better about keeping up on things, or if in my absence the people that know me here have left and I'm saying this to a group that doesn't know me from Adam. But I don't have anywhere else to go and I'm not doing very well right now, and I just need to know that there is something, someone else out there.
I'm in a situation and I don't know what to do. I'm a stay at home mom, married to a narcissist, and I'm miserable. I don't have any family to go to, and my one friend is an hour away and has her own life to live. I'm so terribly alone. Totally isolated.
I don't have a job, I don't have any money, I don't have anywhere to go. I am utterly failed as a person, I don't "work" right, I can't provide for my child, I can't get him away from his ass of a father, who barely has time for him but who he adores. I'm sorry that his father IS his father. I'm ashamed of myself for getting into this mess.
I don't see any way out, and I think it would work out better for everyone else if I died.
I'm not being dramatic, I've thought about it for a long time. I don't want to do it to hurt anyone, and only five people would even notice. The only reason I don't is because of my son. But I'm beginning to question that.
I know I'm not supposed to want to kill myself. I don't actually, I just want to not be alive anymore. I guess that's different. I'm tired. So tired. And so incredibly alone. And I don't see the wisdom in existing just to exist.
I guess the fact that I even write this is proof I'm looking for hope. But I don't know if I believe in hope either.
I'm in a situation and I don't know what to do. I'm a stay at home mom, married to a narcissist, and I'm miserable. I don't have any family to go to, and my one friend is an hour away and has her own life to live. I'm so terribly alone. Totally isolated.
I don't have a job, I don't have any money, I don't have anywhere to go. I am utterly failed as a person, I don't "work" right, I can't provide for my child, I can't get him away from his ass of a father, who barely has time for him but who he adores. I'm sorry that his father IS his father. I'm ashamed of myself for getting into this mess.
I don't see any way out, and I think it would work out better for everyone else if I died.
I'm not being dramatic, I've thought about it for a long time. I don't want to do it to hurt anyone, and only five people would even notice. The only reason I don't is because of my son. But I'm beginning to question that.
I know I'm not supposed to want to kill myself. I don't actually, I just want to not be alive anymore. I guess that's different. I'm tired. So tired. And so incredibly alone. And I don't see the wisdom in existing just to exist.
I guess the fact that I even write this is proof I'm looking for hope. But I don't know if I believe in hope either.
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
I'm glad you are posting, and hope you continue. Is it that you don't have family? or you've been cut off from them? One of the things abusers do is to isolate their mates. So how to get you reconnecte3d and in a healthier situation is the question.
My child is also the only reason I'm still here.
I don't know what the answers are for you, but many people on here have been to hell and back. Please hold on and know that your life can change a great deal. Don't give up. Keep coming here for support - there is so much collective wisdom here, and living proof that new life can take flight from a pile of ashes. Very best wishes to you.
My dad was a narcissist. He created one in my sister. Both were abusive. It was awful for me as a kid, and not much fun for my mom either. Hence my complex PTSD.
I've seen people in your situation "real" life---and the consequences.
I have had many days when I wanted the pain to end. Not life, just the pain. The exhaustion. THe battles to keep some sense of "me". So you're not alone by any means.
Keep posting. Keep trying. There are days when I don't believe in hope, but I am still here. Don't know why sometimes, but I guess I'm incurably optimistic under it all. And I believe you will find a constructive way out. Is a shelter an option for you?
Healing vibes.
I do not believe it is okay for anybody to be this alone with this much pain. Not even a little okay, on any level. I am not suggesting that you let it get to my extreme levels, but working on these problems a little bit every day really can add up to a functional peace that can make life worth living.
Be it here and/or somewhere else, I surely hope you find healing companionship.
Or does he hit you too?
None of this is your fault. Nobody sets out to marry ...this.
You are NOT utterly failed as a person!
Right now you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, though, and feel very trapped.
I felt trapped with my emotionally abusive ex, even though I had no kid and did have a job.
Abusive people warp your mind.
I am given to understand that women's centers deal with women who are emotionally abused in their marriages as well as physically battered women.
You might try using this site's services:
http://www.thehotline.org/help/
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/victims-of-psychopaths-sociopaths
Dont go away Annie.
Ive lost my bio mother, I cant go into it with out breaking down.
but just a hug for you.....
There is enough around you right now that have dampened that spirit, please soak in some of the caring that is here. For you too are part of what makes this page work.
Since you have been absent my art has found color again, influenced by those I have found here even in the wee hours of the morning when sleep would not come. Thank you for being part of that.
We have fully developed a fleet of good places to go to for comfort, starting with Dark Gypsy's Glittersub, which you may have seen to the Calypso and Violet Vanguard. Place of peace and happiness, silliness and travel. These so help us when we have nothing that carries such light in our daily world. Sean33 has resurfaced as tober14282224, and just got back on the poetry word of the day, today is "chilly Willy" day, I'm still thinking on that...which usually sends me into thinking the rhythm of a Dr.Suess frame of mind.
Jenn 51% is still around but is in serious healing mode, but we are so happy to see her when she shows up. The voice that sometimes is the only thing that can seep into my head.
I am glad to see you, it has been a long hard winter for many here, but we all worked together to keep each other up and that makes this one of the best places to be. Welcome home Annie.
Jewells.
Maddening to know enough to know better and still be unable to escape. To hold it together for my son, outwardly look and act fine, "normal" while my heart races and flutters and I hide my shaky hands.
To know that there is no solution that will not hurt my son. I'm so sorry. Such guilt.
Still, better than yesterday, thanks to you...
It's hard to weigh our own needs and to weigh the needs of our loved ones who depend on us. Only the person in that place at that moment can make the call. But you don't have to do it without support. Lots of support to you today.