I’m done done done done
I’ve slipped through the cracks in ‘society’ whatever the fuck that is anyways society. I have no one I’m completely alone!
Im soooooootired of Trying
What the FUCK is going on with doctors ?!?!?!?!?!
Why am I a criminal because I have insane chronic pain & fucked up health from a lifetime of trying to survive
why doesn’t anyone care why don’t I matter ?
They want me to be in such pain & think I deserve it, they want me sooooooo badly to be a heroin addict, I’ve never done heroin NEVER had plans on it but with the fn hysteria!!!! & giving me sooo much trouble with helping my physical health because apparently.... oh I’m sooooo mad & sad & defeated I can’t even think straight
I’m getting judged judged judged
maybe I don’t deserve to heal, it’s probably not even possible so wtf have I been trying sooo hard for
no health no money no support, keep getting denied for disability when I have at least SEVEN of the qualifications for it
in a new place so my ex doesn’t finally find me
why didn’t he succeed in murdering me ? Why did he prostitute me & beat me when I was so young
Do these doctors just seee that on me
Screww it I give up, why the hell not give up
I am one of the forgottens , I am not even , I don’t even
fine they all win, IM WORTHLESS FINE IM WORTHLESS
ICANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE
I’m nothing, never even went to high school, no accolades, no anything , they alll see me as that ,
Im shaking so bad, if one person even know the shit I been through & go through it’s like a fd up cartel, horror movie
everywhere I go I am kind to people & polite & it doesn’t mattter NOTHING MATTERS
IM ONE OF THE ONES THAT SLIPPED THROUGH THE CRACKS
im one of the forgotten ones, the invisible people
kindness means nothing to this world it’s all about other stuff that I dooo not understand
I have no idea what I’m going to do I’m not okay
but one thing I know is that if I reach out for help & try hard hard so hard that it doesn’t even matter & im nothing
I need to end the pain
Not sure how much we're allowed to get into. But I just posted a journal entitled screaming which really says it all. All of a sudden my life feels like it's back in crisis mode. And all because of a memory. I hate the way my brain work sometimes. And it's not very much fun having a mother that allowed my father to do what he did to me for all those years. I want so much to get past...
I got up anxious this morning because at the end of the week I have to return from Mexico, where I plan to retire, to my workplace in the USA, where I have 2 years more to go before retiring.It's not just about going back to work, it's about going back to work at a school that's having such trouble with dwindling enrollment that it's making ends meet by asking older teachers to retire. Then it...