Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I guess I don't think that much about the fact that I am diagnosed with PTSD and depression, mainly because symptoms of a lot of disorders can go into remission and then you forget about it. Well they have come back quite a bit these days.
In my case, I went through a lot of physical abuse and even SA. When I was younger, I got physically abused a lot by my brother and my dad. There were police involved and I was once at the emergency room and even stayed at a shelter. I was told by my brother that I didn't deserve any conversation, so any time I spoke, I would just get told "f-you." And he said that if I upset him in any way that I would get a hit, and that I needed to learn to behave. He even said he wanted to unalive me. My dad said a lot of similar things.
Anyway, this is probably too much detail, but the problem here is that after many years of no contact, like 8 years, my mom has been trying to get me involved back in the family. For obvious reasons, I don't want to. She has always completely dismissed everything they did and accused me of being the problem. She absolutely adores my brother. At any rate, I did agree to a couple of these get togethers with them. A real mistake. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess that I was thinking after all this time, that maybe something would be different or that I would feel different. It wasn't different.
I just felt so sick being around my brother. I don't think that he has changed at all. In my opinion he just freeloads off my parents, he is in his late 40s and has never moved out. When I went to dinner with them a few weeks ago I was so anxious I could not wait to get out of there. My brother was putting down the women in the restaurant and telling me that I was going to get fat. Then of course he wanted all of us to hold hands and pray. I thought it was the worst. I refused.
It was so awkward and uncomfortable. My mom wanted me to take a picture with him and I just said no and went home. She then started putting a lot of pressure on me to start hanging out with them all of the time and wanted to get together for my dad's birthday this week, and I made up an excuse. She asked again and I just said no thanks. Now all is quiet, and that is probably good. I figured I'd better back off, my dad was acting crazy, he showed up at my house when I had COVID and just started ringing the bell over and over. It was scary.
I used to get together with my parents without my brother like once or twice a year, which I could handle, but her trying to fast forward all of this and force this whole family thing on me just didn't work. Now that I said no thanks I wonder if I'll even see my parents the once or twice a year. I don't know. All I know is that she's always tried to force this abusive relationship on me, even when they both beat me up right in front of her face. As far as I'm concerned, I think they are all crazy. I did notice though, that after I told them I wouldn't be getting together with them that my depression started to go away. I don't know if I'll see them at all. All I know is they've pretty much ruined my life.
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Life has been really hard this past year. I'm really feeling down and alone. I can't talk to my family about my depression and anxiety their not very understanding about it. It's really hitting me since my mother passed a few months ago, plus stress from having to eventually move. Also having my niece coming around who suffers bipolar and refuses to take medication for it. Its been...
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When i was in the ER February 16th 2025, i was being admitted to ICU where i was for 3 weeks, then had to relearn to walk for 3 weeks in another hospital rehab floor, the nurse told me something that made me feel for over 18 months now that i was finally *safe*. She told me that the guy who raped and beat me 21 years ago now almost 20 years at that time, was in prison as of a month before that...
fast forward a decade or three and the hard work seems to have paid off. i am the only senior citizen i know whose memory seems to be improving with age. i perform daily memory tests to check the state of my memory functions. when i fail my daily memory test, i start looking for which memory/emotion i am repressing. the process has gotten easier with time and consistency.
a sidebar in this process is that the perpetrators of my past don't have control over my present or my future. that is **my** turf. behave, you misbegotten memories. you are naught but memories over which i have the control.
but that is me and every case is unique. . .
steadying support while you sort your own case.
It 'sounds' like you've made the choices that you need to make for your wellbeing
They can be difficult for sure
I hope that as a little time passes you become more comfortable with the decisions
Another gentle hug and a blessing
What mtd said, Sometimes You have to love somebody from afar, I like that.
Yours and my story have similarities in a way........ I'm sure U might have heard me tell my story, about friends of ours who have a mentally disabled son.
Anyway, I them when I was five, Their son didn't have a little brother (He had a little sister) All he wanted was a little brother, We were 10yrs apart..
As I got older, I'd say around 13-14, His father would come over and say, His son says this about this that about that, IS THAT TRUE??? Well, if his son had a difference of opinion, They would bring him over to verbally abuse, Would have gotten physical If his father wasn't there watching him. His father had to put his hand on his shoulder (He did lunge at me) Speaking incoherent Gibberish, And I had no idea when they were going to bring him over to confront me.
He felt he was older then me, he should know he should know I shouldn't You can't do that, cause I haven't taught You that.
And that went on for a few Years, And his dad has gotten me job's, I think to make me forget about all this.
Fastforward to 4 yr's ag0 His sister asked me to post, Myself playing guitar (Which is odd, because his sister and I have been friend's on facebook for 15yr's So
somethings up. His sister view's it, Show's it to her father, and his son see's it, it's going to irritate him.
People are just so disturbed It's hard to believe that someone actually Physically harm someone they love.my brother and I used to roughhoused, He never hurt me.
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I'm sorry that happened to You, Guess all You can do is pray for people like that.