It is not at all unusual for survivors of sexual abuse to question their sexual identity. I just always knew I am straight even though I have been with women on occasion. It was always in a purely sexual situation. Some people need to "identify" themselves and others just accept their feelings. It is an individual choice. You might find talking to a therapist helpful.

To Reply # 12

You may be celibate and have some health issues but you are not "old".
Don't you know 55 is the new 40????

Eh. I mean, I havent been with anybody for what, 4 years now? Something like that.

I dont have a big problem with it myself. Sometimes I question myself a little bit but I dont think its beyond whats natural for someone in their early 20s.

My problems though, they dont stem from sexual abuse.

Well I guess I do find myself pondering whether I should put myself in certain risky situations. But I dont act on it, and hey like I said Im in my early 20s and havent been with anyone for 4 years.

My best healing thoughts go out to all of you who do experience significant trouble with this though.

In my humble opinion, we're attracted to whomever we're attracted to, as long as the partners are adults and can consent. It matters to me that we do as Socrates said to "know thyself," but for me that's not for the purpose of determining a label as much as being for personal growth, which is still possible with PTSD. I'm not sure how the confusion you mention about your sexual orientation would have to do with PTSD, personally, though you may be able to explain. If you're confused about your sexual orientation at this point, wouldn't you be just as confused if you didn't have PTSD, or is there an element I'm missing that makes it the issue?

The issues of gender identity,, what sex we identify with, and gender role, what we think men and women are supposed to be like and do are things that everyone goes through. Most people, in secure families, don't struggle much cuz they just naturally identify with the parent of the same sex and want somebody to marry that's like momma. However, many many families have parents that are not perfect, don't make good role models and so the kids have to figure out more for themselves whether they want to follow the mold, reject the mold and rebel and do the opposite, or search for better role models.
Babies are born with a very diffuse sexuality. They have feelings but sexual development is a process. They/we all start out bisexual, pansexual, and it's through the years of cultural development, and family formation that we get 'conditioned' in our preferences and behaviors.

I don't want to start a debate on how sexuality is created, whether it's a choice or not or the morality of it, but I'll try to give you my thoughts...

PTSD or not, I think it's totally normal to have moments, if not more, where you may question your identity. If you are attracted to women, does that bother you?

I think it's much more important the QUALITY of the relationship than it is if your partner has male or female parts.

I think if you ask a lot of women, they will say that there was a period of experimentation until they finally found where they wanted to settle. After all, it's not like signing a contract and then you can't get out of it, lol!

What's troubling you?

well, it's that sexuality, is about male and female parts. :P and I know not everyone wants to make babies, but,, that's actually what sexuality is about. We can Love everybody each in a unique way, but families with kids are about eggs and sperm.

Nice thread..... Some parts deep and heavy others light and shallow. Reminded me of a mutiple choice
A hetero,
B Gay
C BI .....
Oh then there's
D. all of the above.
For what ever reason it's always best for you to follow your heart in the long run. I have known a few of all of the above and on most subjects are as crazy as me. Type A. :)

yes...

One of the blessings of menopause and being 54 years old for me after a series of not healthy relationships is that I am more comfortable with me being me and have lost my sexual appetite. What I miss is affection and someone to share with at the end of the day.

After decades of hyper-sexuality, I, too, am enjoying the peace and serenity of celibacy. Thank God for menopause.

My greater struggle with sexuality is what reproduction always has had more to do with all the addendums human cultures put on being "real men" and "real women." When I became the first girl in the State of Illinois' gifted math and science program (1964), none of the resulting hoopla had any connection my 11 year old mind could see to math or science. Not even biology. During my engineering career I often felt like I was trying to turn screws with my mammary glands. What I went through as a lady engineer in the 70s was a cultural picnic compared to what a stay-at-home dad or male nurse go through to this day.

Here in the 21st century I am re-entering the workforce at age 59 after an 18 year housewife gig. Instinct is leading me toward my native engineering talents. I still don't know if I have the strength to handle the controversy. Can't see where it has changed all that much. Just more cleavage, dyes, powders and politically correct verbage on the fecal pie.