It could definitely deal with the previous trauma. I know through my life I've felt somewhat the same way (this is at certain times rather than a constant thing I still have urges). I know after so many times of dealing with men that I felt only pressured me into sex (or in some cases worse) I have had less urges and even would get flashbacks during times of having intercourse. I use to be a lot worse where any time I had sex I would just have a panic attack at the end but over time with love and gentleness the panic attacks and flash backs subside (they're still there but not as often). I can totally understand where you're coming from and if you just find no pleasure in it there's nothing to be ashamed of I know it can be hard with majority of relationships including or even revolving around sex but stay strong. I would suggest trying to find a therapist that works with you and you're able to talk through things and maybe you could get passed the possible PTSD from the past. Be sure to stay open with your partner and that they know you love them even though sex just isn't interesting to you

It could be a bit of both. One stemming from the other. Been there as well. I identify myself as asexual. Dealing with PTSD DID is hard as it's. I would suggest talking to your boy friend about how you feel about this. Communication would be a good thing. You don't want to feel pressured as that might trigger your ptsd which could be detrimental to your emotional and over all well being.

I don't question my sexuality, I question sexuality. After being molested by a pedophile along with 4 other elementary school kids at 10, the real trauma began with my mother's shaming me for the rest of my life. At 11 my mom told me not to bother to pray to God, I was damaged goods going to hell. The shaming got to the extreme of beatings when I hit puberty--just because I hit puberty.

I suspect that behind it all my mom had been molested herself as a kid.

In any event, I was very careful with sex as an adult--too careful. I went through two divorces, one because my wife became a lesbian, and one because my wife had an affair with a co-worker of mine. In both cases, I wasn't just a victim; there was the fact that I chose partners who were either unsure of their own sexual orientation, or who were commitment-phobic.

I dated a lot after my 2nd divorce only to find that I chose people like that over and over because they were familiar to me. I've stopped dating now for 7 years. I'm happier with the stability independence and celibacy have brought to my life, but it's a very individual choice so I can't recommend it to anyone else. Just share my story.

i have no training in this other than my own experience which may not even apply, but i think it is very likely to be part of the ptsd. i am not sure what you meant, but if you had no sexual satisfaction even before, i'd be inclined to at least wonder if there was something not right going on even before the rape. my situation may be way away from yours, but here is something i wrote in my "journal" of sorts just yesterday. i write, and i wrote a story which had a character who was a tight rope walker - a woman. first, i am male and heterosexual. but i am certain that that character had elements of me. what i wrote is this: she is a tight rope walker. she is the component of a mind that keeps the necessary balance of all the components of a mind. she has no personality and does not have much to say. in all minds (i suspect) there is a tight rope walker such as her. in a man, that component is a woman. in a woman, that component is a man. the tight rope walker can do things like facilitate romance. people upon discovering a component in their own mind that is the opposite sex, may become a bit disturbed by that. i believe it should be taught by parents or in school at an early age if someone ever tests out my theory (not too likely) but what is important here is that this component of the mind is actually a very natural thing because both male and female both evolved out of the same ancestor (before sexes divided). experiencing this has been reinforced over generations. Why i mention all of this is that though i do not know what happened in my past, I show all the symptoms of ptsd and it keeps becoming more and more evident to me. i am a self harmer - for all my life - and this self harming gradually evolved into a "person" on its own that i call my hijacker - and lives within me - like i am possessed. of course i am a rational thinking person. i know it is me, but it is separate and it is that "person" who drives me to self harming. i went on to write, that my hijacker clearly knocked my tightrope walker off the rope and uses her to confuse me about sexuality. my hijacker tries to put words into her mouth and personality and intent into her repertoire. that has screwed up my sexlife completely and destroyed all pleasure.

clearly the problem you have is very different from mine, but the sexuality issue could be similar. maybe using the tightrope walker analogy is too far fetched. it actually came to me in an almost sleeping dream. but the mind does have many components and it also needs ways to explain things to itself. mantaining some kind of sexuality balance is likely one of those components and if that part loses balance feeling sexual may get disrupted. if you are ok with my analogy, i would suggest trying to imagine your tight rope walker, a man in your case, getting back on the rope. my brain works with this kind of imagery. maybe yours can too. so that is my suggestion. if you try it, maybe in time it will work. i hope so. but don't let it become a thing that stresses you more. if you are presently seeing a therapist, ask him or her about it.

I was suffering brass ovaries sexual rage by the time I hit adolescence and suffered it all the way to menopause. Sexual rage has little to do with any primal drive. It is about control, regardless of gender. If I can't prevent it, I might as well be in control of the execution. I still haven't managed to sort the nature from the nurture of that symptom and currently believe there is not allot of point to knowing. Whatever the source, it's mine to deal with now and obsessing over the p's and q's of ^it^ only seems to distract me from managing the symptoms of my general condition. Those symptoms are nebulous enough that they can manifest in many other forms when I am too focused on any one manifestation.

I don't have any clear answers for either of us. Just a general assurance that you are not alone with the symptom. I still haven't learned about sex as a loving expression but treating the condition behind my sexual rage has at least helped me find peace with the symptom.

Gentle empathy, CP. Hope healing happens here.