Hello Braveiglee. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

Yes, PTSD sucks, both literally and metaphorically. I don't know how those full sensory flashbacks are even possible, but they keep on happening, whether I understand them or not. They literally suck the life right out of me. I'll let you define your own metaphorical suckage and I'll probably agree with you. Ya can't get too mean for my opinion of ^it^.

But in my personal herstory, I find ^it^ sucks less when I can share the load. Sometimes I can even break the vacuum and pull free of the suckage. Those are good days.

Welcome aboard, Braveiglee. Hope you find healing companionship here.

Hi Brave. I am sorry for what happened to you and for how other people are making you feel about it now. I separated myself from people like that in my life so that I can self care for myself and my PTSD without the judgement that made me feel worse. But that's me.
I don't know your situation and wouldn't dream of suggesting you do the same. that is a personal choice we all make.
this is a great place for support during you healing. Everyone here is compassionate and dealing with similar issues. so glad you found DS.

welcome and triple hugs~

Hi, Brave, I'm a guy who has PTSD from 3 trauma categories and one of them is sexual assault by a pedophile when I was a kid. My mom said that, too, that I must have liked it. PTSD flashbacks, though, are a "reliving" trauma episode and not a memory over which we have any control. It took psychiatric medication, counseling with a PTSD therapist, and a lot of support here to get past it for me.

Hi Brave,
I can tell you that I went through what your talking about, it takes a long time to heal .I have tried all different kinds of therapy , there are certain therapist who work with rape victims they are usually the best. But I can say the best therapist I had ,had gone through being raped. Knew how I felt, I could feel the same as you on flash backs, I could smell his shampoo, cologne, and I could feel his touch on my skin. I am here for you and will talk to you. Just drop me a line and I will tell you how I finally got healed. Don't listen to the people who bad mouth you they have never felt that kind of trauma. You will get over it , you are a brave person for reaching out. Gentle hugs Casey

You are not alone. My flashbacks are real and can stop me in my tracks. It is scary and sometimes embarrassing. I have been working on breathing, getting centered, and i have also started the process of EMDR that has been really helpful.