Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Today my semester teaching full time at the community college begins again. I'm as ready as I can be. But I still get the jitters. I'm teaching 3 sections of a class for nursing students on the care of terminally illpatients. A death and dying class using Kubler Ross and those 5 stages of grief. I teach it because until 2010 I was a hospital chaplain with those patients myself.
I am really grateful I can work full time. I had to leave the hospital career in 2010 because I have stage 4 out of 5 chronic kidney disease. Having only 40% kidney function left means 60% of former energy is gone. So I almost was sent by HR to be put on disability in 2011 after year 1 of this great Plan B, this teaching job I landed after leaving hospital chaplaincy in 2010. Those were desperate, sad times. To go from giving up the hospital chaplaincy career to teaching community college to almost losing that gig, too.
So I'm happy I'm still doing this community college teaching job in 2015 after all. Been able to hang in there. I want to do it from the heart and really connect with these students. In my chapter on suicide we talk about PTSD, and there's always some student who comes to me later and gets help.
I'm 56 now, though, and I know I don't have the age appeal with younger students. I also have flashbacks up in front of the class every day. I disguise them pretty well, and use Youtubes and stuff in class to appeal to students and also take the load off of me a little.
So I have the jitters. I'm about to go get in my car and drive to school. Prayers and/or supportive thoughts are most welcome.
Muji
I am really grateful I can work full time. I had to leave the hospital career in 2010 because I have stage 4 out of 5 chronic kidney disease. Having only 40% kidney function left means 60% of former energy is gone. So I almost was sent by HR to be put on disability in 2011 after year 1 of this great Plan B, this teaching job I landed after leaving hospital chaplaincy in 2010. Those were desperate, sad times. To go from giving up the hospital chaplaincy career to teaching community college to almost losing that gig, too.
So I'm happy I'm still doing this community college teaching job in 2015 after all. Been able to hang in there. I want to do it from the heart and really connect with these students. In my chapter on suicide we talk about PTSD, and there's always some student who comes to me later and gets help.
I'm 56 now, though, and I know I don't have the age appeal with younger students. I also have flashbacks up in front of the class every day. I disguise them pretty well, and use Youtubes and stuff in class to appeal to students and also take the load off of me a little.
So I have the jitters. I'm about to go get in my car and drive to school. Prayers and/or supportive thoughts are most welcome.
Muji
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Dear _____, please grant us the strength to be all we are called to be today.
You can do this, muji!!! Jitters and all...
As for the flashbacks in class, practice your mindfulness everyday, keep something in your pocket to ground you. For me it is a stone from the beach that has been rounded and is very smooth from the waves. Tell yourself everyday, especially before class that PTSD is not welcome in your class today. Take charge of the class room, because you own it, it is yours, you are in control of that room. If you do have a flashback, have the class get into groups and discuss a question, that will give you time to resolve the flashback and get back on track. You got this!
HUGS
You would have a lot to share being a hospital chaplain for so long...Jitters are okay albeit a little uncomfortable... I think a lot of people who work in public speaking feel them at times..
I have a friend who's a minister now and we talk at times about what he goes through.. I'd never before realized what a tough career being a chaplain was until I got to know him... Your kindness and now the knowledge you share will help a lot of young nurses get to the next stage
Working with grief is painful in and of itself... TY for all that you do my friend...xo
((( BIG FAT HUGS ))) and lots of warm vibes. You will be ok. We have your back, mister.
My classes went well today. I had the jitters to the point of having the sweats! Ha! But I was able to do as you said. To breathe, Lilly. To ground myself--how did you know, CC? A stone is exactly what I use to ground myself with. It's a little piece of my once feared but now beloved Uruguay, where I got PTSD and then went back to overcome my Uru-phobia with exposure therapy. The national gem is an amethyst, so I have a little piece of amethyst from there that grounds me now.
Thanks for your prayers, Leo, and for your public speaking experience about PTSD, d-fly. And arfie, for the strength prayer. I got it done today, but boy did I end up tired at day's end. Yet I had just the amount of strength I needed. Donna, your faith held me up in support, too, and SunCloud, it's so kind of you to validate what chaplains do. Therefore the undertaking it is to teach grief classes feels validated, too. Finally, blue, to be believed in and to know you have my back, as you said, really makes me feel it's safe to put myself out there once more.
Oh, I'm so lucky to have friends like you in my life. Friends who know what it's like to step out there. Friends I can call on when I need to get something done beyond myself. Thank you. You are a great blessing, and I promise to pass that on in gratitude.
Keep us posted:-)
Not just one, but 3 of these new students who don't even know me stayed after class and walked me to my car in the parking lot. That was very kind of them. We're going to have a good time together, I believe.
Thank you all for the support for me to make this effort, truly.