Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

10,127 Members
27,616 Posts
0 Online
Anxiety Disorders
/ Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Prayer request-have the jitters

Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Today my semester teaching full time at the community college begins again. I'm as ready as I can be. But I still get the jitters. I'm teaching 3 sections of a class for nursing students on the care of terminally illpatients. A death and dying class using Kubler Ross and those 5 stages of grief. I teach it because until 2010 I was a hospital chaplain with those patients myself.

I am really grateful I can work full time. I had to leave the hospital career in 2010 because I have stage 4 out of 5 chronic kidney disease. Having only 40% kidney function left means 60% of former energy is gone. So I almost was sent by HR to be put on disability in 2011 after year 1 of this great Plan B, this teaching job I landed after leaving hospital chaplaincy in 2010. Those were desperate, sad times. To go from giving up the hospital chaplaincy career to teaching community college to almost losing that gig, too.

So I'm happy I'm still doing this community college teaching job in 2015 after all. Been able to hang in there. I want to do it from the heart and really connect with these students. In my chapter on suicide we talk about PTSD, and there's always some student who comes to me later and gets help.

I'm 56 now, though, and I know I don't have the age appeal with younger students. I also have flashbacks up in front of the class every day. I disguise them pretty well, and use Youtubes and stuff in class to appeal to students and also take the load off of me a little.

So I have the jitters. I'm about to go get in my car and drive to school. Prayers and/or supportive thoughts are most welcome.

Muji
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Ha! "Student boogie." Good one, Jewells. :-)
ZAZAS
ZAZAS
I will do both. Prayer sent up and positive thoughts on their way. You will do good.
ZAZAS
ZAZAS
Opps, forgot you were a teacher. You will do well.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Had a really bad 3 hour class tonight. It meets once a week, and this was our second meeting. Out of all the students in the room only 2 had read the assignment on the syllabus for tonight. It was a long and exhausting 3 hours. Pretty discouraging.
drangonflylady
drangonflylady
Don't be discouraged muji because you know that many students do that and that can certainly be discouraging indeed but remember why you do what you do. If you only reach one student than it is and was totally worth it. Sound like two did there reading for class and 3 students helped you to your car. The semester is just beginning. Remember back to last semester and how many students you touch and other semester beyond that. Some students may surprise you in the end. I had this one college teacher who the first night came in and said this will be the hardest class you ever take and if you are taking a full time load to may want to drop a class or to because my class is just that hard. She scared the hell out of me. I went home and cried and told my grandfather I had to quit. I was extremely worried. Well I went back and I soared and she is my favorite teacher to this day. She was the most kind and compassionate teacher. She was right it was the hardest English class I had ever taken and it was the best class I ever took. She touch me and gave me a wonderful gift the love of reading. Just keep doing what you are doing and be the wonderful man I have come to know and the teacher you were meant to be and you will be great.
On another note I'm sorry you are in so much pain my friend. Is there anything that helps. Ultimately rest probably helps but does putting your feet up help. I know for myself almost all chair are to tall for me so if I bring something to put my feet on that make my legs not hang over so I cant touch the floor that the pain in my leg isn't as bad. Its just a thought. Sometimes brainstorming things like that can make it a little better. Please keep us posted. Many many hugs to you.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Oh, dragonfly, I really needed that reminder. I was spiritually tired by last night's class. My spirits were depleted by the class's lack of work and I didn't feel like investing work in our class any more myself. It's good to remember it's just the beginning of the semester. It's good to remember that one student out there who does care, like you did. Thanks.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Hm. Another bad day at the college. Is it me or the college? Is my PTSD fight or flight response getting triggered here or do I need a change to a job at a different school? (I could use the money). Sifting and sorting....