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ALL of my pro shrinks have agreed that my "language studies" are a primary channels for my over-compensation needs. How often do that many Professionals agree on anything? I put "language studies" in quotes because my classroom studies swing wildly between spectacular short-term success and greasy long-term crash and burns. Still. . . Working the theories of channeling psychosis, I believe --only believe-- that linguistics are a workable channel. I KNOW I don't care to do the survey on how many of my pros agree with that theory. . .
My contemplation of "Chi" and "Qi" seem to be spinning into resuming my Mandarin studies. The remnants of the last formal effort have been finding their way onto my studio work surfaces. Music is my personal favorite media for language study. This is the song I was working on when my profie got married and moved on: http://sonichits.com/video/Dao_Lang/Cao_Yuan_Zhi_Ye . How did that get to be five years ago? The last rough draft is laid out in the Mandarin pictographs, pinyin and two lines of my sophomoric translations, one for word translation and another for meaning translation. It adds up to one of the more lengthy documents in my studio. Maybe my profie was right. Maybe "Cao Yuan Zhe Ye" is over my linguistic skills. For sure, the calligraphy part is over her interest level. She prefers to write in pinyin. Pinyin was the language she used while getting her linguistics and child development degree from Texas A & M.
In English, my delayed speech development meant that I was, quite literally reading and writing long before I was comfortable speaking. Well. . . 61 years and counting, truth be told. I have elegant diction when I am not stressed to stuttering, but I would rather not use it much. In all the human languages I play with, I value music, reading and writing more than talk.
In the case of Mandarin, the calligraphy interests me more than the words. Wow! An entire picture for every syllable? Entire universities dedicated to the art of calligraphy? Who needs sound?
Well. . . I need some way of understanding lyrics. . . Kinda hate the pinyin, but my understanding of phonetics needs that Roman alphabet.
Guess I am spinning. Kinda the way over-compensating works in my personal herstory. Beats dealing with all that petty domestic drama. . . Just looking for the language where people actually make sense to me. The idea of speaking in pictures is especially intriguing to me during a domestic drama.
Anybody have personal thoughts and/or experience with "Over Compensation"?
Just hoping. . .
My contemplation of "Chi" and "Qi" seem to be spinning into resuming my Mandarin studies. The remnants of the last formal effort have been finding their way onto my studio work surfaces. Music is my personal favorite media for language study. This is the song I was working on when my profie got married and moved on: http://sonichits.com/video/Dao_Lang/Cao_Yuan_Zhi_Ye . How did that get to be five years ago? The last rough draft is laid out in the Mandarin pictographs, pinyin and two lines of my sophomoric translations, one for word translation and another for meaning translation. It adds up to one of the more lengthy documents in my studio. Maybe my profie was right. Maybe "Cao Yuan Zhe Ye" is over my linguistic skills. For sure, the calligraphy part is over her interest level. She prefers to write in pinyin. Pinyin was the language she used while getting her linguistics and child development degree from Texas A & M.
In English, my delayed speech development meant that I was, quite literally reading and writing long before I was comfortable speaking. Well. . . 61 years and counting, truth be told. I have elegant diction when I am not stressed to stuttering, but I would rather not use it much. In all the human languages I play with, I value music, reading and writing more than talk.
In the case of Mandarin, the calligraphy interests me more than the words. Wow! An entire picture for every syllable? Entire universities dedicated to the art of calligraphy? Who needs sound?
Well. . . I need some way of understanding lyrics. . . Kinda hate the pinyin, but my understanding of phonetics needs that Roman alphabet.
Guess I am spinning. Kinda the way over-compensating works in my personal herstory. Beats dealing with all that petty domestic drama. . . Just looking for the language where people actually make sense to me. The idea of speaking in pictures is especially intriguing to me during a domestic drama.
Anybody have personal thoughts and/or experience with "Over Compensation"?
Just hoping. . .
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
My overcompensation is self-analysis-criticism-blame. No baking, no cleaning, no crying ever is that magical "enough", a word I despise and yet can't not use. *headdesk*
Brain Spin Cycle. Wears me out more than shoveling sh*t, which at least accomplishes something.
And there's the self-criticism again. *faceplant*
Dunno if that offered insight, aid, or amusement, Arfie, but at this point I'm unable to even think the word "mom" without anxiety. I'm positive I'm a fat gross ugly angry bad bad person with no redeeming value other than as worm food. So my POV is skewed to say the least.
For that reason, I love the colors of words through their etymologies.
Overcompensation??? Nah... Motivation. I want to express my voice with clear articulation so I am heard and validated.
I love that video. My husband's Turk and he always says how true Turks are Mongols, as are Native Americans. I can't understand the words, but the sounds and images sure do seem to make that point.
Awesome, Arfie. I'll be honest, sometimes I feel inferior to your intellect because I don't know if my IQ is as high... but you just made me feel smart today because I totally understood you.
And when the cussing turns to name-calling? ? ? The cops tell me I am not as creative as I think I am. I save the nastiest names for myself.
Now. . . Maybe that will make more sense after I finish translating it to Mandarin? I often believe that translating my thought loops to other languages is my most effective letting go tool. How would Dao Lang say, "Beaten crazy bitch wolf?" I am willing to bet he knows at least a couple of the Sichuan breed.
Inside my personal skin, I am not sure IQ has much to do with it beyond giving me an extra advantage with written tests.
When people can't understand me, I believe it is more often because of my psychosis than my "superior" intellect. As my youngest son likes to tease many of the people in his life, "The fact that nobody understands you does not make you a genius."