I been through a lot of things. My PTSD came as a result of domestic violence which lead to a bad concussion. I don't sleep and if I do sleep there is nightmares one after the other and I jump out of my sleep afraid to fall back asleep if I could. It started sinking down worst when I was at a parade and there was a shooting 2 feet away if that from me and my family. I saw a girl get shot and I had to run for my life and duck and hide in the car for safety because the shooters were running right towards us.

I lost a close friend that day. Then a day or two later lost an aunt and then a day after day lost one of my close cousins. And it was so much I still haven't processed what has happened. I been crashing a lot lately where I just sleep and don't even know it. I have Severe Anxiety Disorder and I been having attacks back to back. Plus, I'm divorcing the man that caused all this on me. 

I feel disassociated and not myself it's crazy. I just cry and cry and I feel bad and I have thoughts I can't explain and emotions I can't seem to control anymore. I don't wanna get out of the bed at all I just wanna sit here and wonder why is this happening and every time I think I am progressing I get hit with a major setback or something that triggers me so bad I fall off the map.

I need somebody to speak life to me!!! It hurts and I'm ready to just give it all up. I can't take all this anymore and I can't do this anymore!!!