Before I found this site I was a mess, sitting with my emotions was damn near impossible, just a ball of anxiety that I had no clue what to do with. With some advice from some good people I sought counselling, That was about 6 or 7 years ago. I don't go to counselling as much as I should but it's a great fallback when things get hard. With this site I now have the ability to throw my problems down and that helps so much better than journaling because you sometimes, most of the time, receive advice but most of all support. Having an outlet to dump your minds chaos and not feeling alone helps tremendously.

I've been in counseling for awhile I can't remember how long. Maybe 4 years. I just joined ds. I have already received some relief. 2 days ago I couldn't do anything but because of that I went searching. Luckily I found DS. I feel like my brain is on overload. I am on 2 meds zoloft and wellbutrin (bupropione ). I don't play around with my meds. I also have AA for outside help. Unfortunately some there don't know or understand. Others I think are in denial.

Just knowing this site is here and is a go-to when things get hard, gives a person some peace. I come and go often, if I'm here things are hard and when I'm gone I'm mostly in ptsd remission for lack of better words lol. Sounds like you got a good routine going for you, what do you do for fun?

I listen to a lot of music. Visit with some friends.

I am one who has been at it for decades. I had my first therapy appointment in 1972. My last round of formal therapy ended around 2K with my "Graduation" to therapy maintenance. I still feel a tragic number of symptoms from the child sex trafficking conditioning, but I am doing pretty well at managing those symptoms. I take my daily maintenance seriously. I have come to think of it as the base of my spiritual diet. My spirit, too, needs solid nutrition and daily hygiene.

Yes, DS is currently part of my daily maintenance.

I'm still relatively new at all of this. Because of financial restraints I have to use the VA for all of my counseling. I have been to every group they offer. I talked to my pdoc recently about finding a group of men and women who have experienced what I've experienced. The VA in Omaha doesn't have anything like that available. I'm a sober member of AA so I understand the group concept . Also because of AA I understand about needing and having daily disciplines to aid in recovery. I guess I'm tired of feeling horrible most of the time. Thanks

Diagnosed & treated for depression 1985-1995. Diagnosed with PTSD 1995. Diagnosed with chronic kidney disease 2011 (no more psych meds). Came to DS PTSD in 2012.

Hello, I am here almost daily, though I don't always comment or post. Some of that is my choice other times it's a glitch thing.
I probably needed help decades before I got it, but I was real determined to stay off the radar. My interactions with those in authority to help in the moment were damaging. The time of listening to all sides was not as well as developed as it is now. That said there is still room for improvement.
I finally crashed after the loss of my husband John from cancer in 2012. Therapy started for me then after I found DS and then the strength to ask for help. I have taken a lot of time and classes to learn the whys with my college and therapist. Always researching and sorting.

John was not my first husband but he was the best for me and what I needed. The other was a Vietnam PTSD vet. He came back still fighting his experiences. But stubborn that he didn't and wouldn't seek help, since that meant weakness then. (1970's) Unfortunately he didn't see it was me he fought, broke and we were here, not there. This is why I have kind of left your posts alone. I have read them, just not commented. I can only tell you from my side looking in.

Veterans can trigger some pretty bad memories for me. I am aware that the conditioning needed to become the machine, does not always allow the human to come back from it.
My father was the first one that I dealt with. He received shock treatments, medications and had breakdowns of violence pretty regularly early in my life. Along with his actions the treatment times for me were hard because if my mothers actions and reactions to them. She turned her head away from what I was being used for. And then I married one.

I am very aware of those that came home in body but not in mind, also the ones that decided to leave the body before coming home (Brother, Marine suicide). They do a lot more to screen volunteers now that is a learned response to the histories of veterans that came home with PTSD. There is always room for improvement, especially on the release and debriefing end.

I can understand why someone with your experienced trauma would have trouble finding a group that connects. This may be where a reach out to other members that have been exploited in uniform and then creating a group specific to needs. They are out there, just they to have been given training that says to say "it" happened, makes you weak. Not true. But that kind of conditioning takes work to break. You have already done so, and others here have shared that they are also recipients of such treatments.

We and I will be around and listen when needed.

Support .
J.

Thank you J you touched my heart. I so appreciate your kindness. I truly want to get to a place where I can live with more peace of mind than what I have now. I work hard at it most of the time then I get frozen. But now I feel maybe this is a very good place (DS).

Belated welcome. I am glad you joined and feel good about it. There will be times when you feel you said too much (as you noted before) But they will pass when you find that just by saying what you did, you opened the door for others to also release their inside hurts. This is how I found that I was not alone anymore. I survived what was done to me and am working to get past the remnants of what that did to me.
I have made some great support friends here and wish the same for you.
J.