Lately, I have been on BUT not at the same time. This has been so so. I have a lot going one. I was have a new diagonsed that my PCP dignosed me with. BUT he send me to his family memeber who is a rhematologiost. She asked me to bring all my medical folder in and did not even acknowledge it. Me Bad!!!

She did blood test and the day of the results I asked so many questions that she was overwhelemed and walked out without writing down name of meds (as she stated that she would do during visit) and she forget to tell staff or I when I should return. I emailed her and now I have an appointment

I had to visit the ER and that I do not want to go into because doctors are so odd. I know that they are human BUT they are very odd. I am alive I think half and half lately. SOmehow my brain is not with me and I am walking and exit. 

My body hurt from head to knee and I do not know if I should scream, cry or what??? I finally start treatment BUT need to be monitor because bad side effect. My medical provider list just grew my additional 2 more. I am looking a second opinon and it is funny because my PCP refer me to his family member and now I need a second opinion and has to go to him (my PCP).  I agree with my friend that stated do not worry just like in a way nature be nature. 

It is a lot more happening and I am in just exit mood. Kinda what ever what ever mood.  Yet somehow my brain has walked away for a few weeks now and that is why I log on BUT did not log on. 

My therapist (new) does not know if I need intenstive therapy because I told her that in the beginning she stated that she was not going to ask me much questions in order to re-tramuatized me BUT she end up doing the opposite and for weeks now every session asked me a lot of triggering questions. TO be honest, I told her that my notes much has stated "Push her over the cliff". I said that to her because one therapy company stated to me that this was their intenstion for me, yep to push me over the cliff. 

I come to a conclusion and that this world is not a safe place to be. Yet a lot more than what I am saying has been happening. Things has been changing and changing faster that I can think. I do not know if anyone else feels that way. ANyways a lot has been happening, BUT  I am here i think or guess