I'd say when this stuff slips for me, it is depression. Even your way of describing it sounds that way as you are obviously faulting yourself for it.

Ironically doing the self care can sometimes make you feel better, but I know that doing it is easier said than done. If there is any way to break it down, maybe the whole routine doesn't get accomplished but parts of it do, it could help you to feel better.

If you had a friend who told you what you just told us, would you blame her? I bet you wouldn't and I bet you would support her and show compassion for what she is going through.

I feel concern for you mostly for how it makes you feel. The self care or lack there of is most likely due to depression as you as (as well as the self blame you seem to feel).

Forgive me if you put this on another post, but do you have any supports to help with depression? DS is great, but I mean in addition to this.

I'm thinking of you and hoping for you to have some relief.

I agree with guayaba that when self-care becomes a heavy duty, depression might be happening. Having a source of support for that beyond DS might be good, as guayaba says.

We can't fix the big stuff. Self care is made up of the small things that can make us feel better. So take care, if you can. Blessings.

I feel like a hideous slob when I challenge rigid social "norms" that are not quite clicking for me. Personal hygiene was one. I was on a regamine of at least one shower a day, complete with all the properly labeled products for my skin and hair. I was horrified when my "illness caused" me to break with this regamine. No amount of personal bullying seemed able to penetrate the faux pas.

Down the road I noticed my psoriasis was clearing up, both on my scalp and epidermis. I suffered less itching. My skin became more responsive to ambient conditions. I became more tuned with my systemic cravings. These days my personal hygiene flows with conditions of the day.

Not saying this is so for you. Just personal experience. For certain, there is more than one way to care for a body.

Hope you find what works for you.

i force myself too but my little grandaugther love to get all fixed up it help me too do it but anything else i do not get done i just posted about this same type of stuff .
sometimes it like the clock tics diffidently for me im not aware of time of day or day of week i have to check .hugs minnie

I agree that accomplishing self care feels good, and improves sense of self competence.

But what that regimen happens to be is open for interpretation. As Arfie illustrated, American culture is over the top about its view on hygiene regimen, and can actually create skin issues etc.

So make yourself feel good, but remember good hygiene has a range of interpretations. Don't guilt trip yourself about not following some idealized myth of what it means to be clean. (For example, I read yesterday that brushing one's teeth after every single meal actually prematurely erodes tooth enamel.)

I go through spells where I don't do anything and I mean anything. I have been home with a sick child since late Sunday and yesterday was the first day I showered or brushed my teeth or got dressed. That was only to bring her to the hospital. On the days I don't feel like going any place, I don't get dressed or do much else. Sometimes that can go into a few days. I try not to let the guilt get to me and nobody ever comes over without letting me know ahead of time, giving me the chance to clean myself up.

Then there are times when I don't want to be home at all except to sleep. It just isn't one of those times right now and won't be until spring time. I can relate completely.

I am also having this problem along with fatige allways wanting to lie down napping but still not feeling rested.

Its scary when our sadness falls deeper into the unknown... especially when we were pretty sure we knew that bottom pretty well.

I suffer from similar difficulties where I dont shower or do anything...at all... for long periods of time... includes extreme fatigue and forgetting to properly brush my teeth for god knows how long... Maybe they are right and its the depression seeping in...

I find that recently I shower to hide from everyone and even from how Im feeling... because of this I am showering daily... Not in the morning to be productive but randomly during the day or night.. I always blast music. I find it motivational and lightens the task. Now when Im getting myself together Its my time to get away from what I feel and whats happening. I just shower and sing away leaving all the rest of my inner bs outside the door waiting for when Im done..

Hope you feel better and that you find true relief tonight

I have been known to wear the same clothes for a week, meaning I sleep in them and everything. That means no bathing. Sometimes my family will notice and I will find a hot bath waiting for me, and that finallly makes me bathe and change clothes.

I think it is depression but also it is PTSD taking hold. It is all that I can do just to make each day and if I make it with the same clothes and no bath, I forgive myself because I am still here.

Mujica and guayaba, I agree with you. My mind is so fogged up and it just shakes me that I am in this rut of just not wanting to take care of my physical appearances. Support outside of DS, I have some but like life, things happen. What I can do for someone is hard for me to take in. I am just not OK with the facts of. I have a lot of self-blame and anger towards myself for that. I am not OK with not being OK.
, does it make sense?

Arfie, thanks for reaching out. Norms and procedures are things that I admire. I love the simplicity of it and not having to go out of it, if necessary. This time, normal is out the question. In starting my recovery, I, realize that the mind is not in tuned with present.My mind and body's chemistry doesn't click OK for me, yet. I guess I will learn along the way. I know now that my c-ptsd is worse during the holidays and that's new.

Min, I feel the same way. I get lost in my fog. Time had passed so quickly, I forget a lottttt of things.

Letitbe, you are totally right about that. I have a routine of my own I follow. just not ok with not following it for me. I like the idea of just letting things be around and hang loose. But its just new for me.

Reply 6 and 7, I did some research on fatigue. I've had fatigue for about over 2 yrs now and its amazing how the mind and body takes in all this in. There are days where I do the same: nothing, absolutely nothing.then some days, I eat more and some I barely eat. Some, I just eat breakfast kind of food, u know?

Billybird,Wow! I am surprised and somewhat relieved to know that I am not alone in this. We can share stories, lol. I've never seen depression hit this deep or is it extreme fatigue, can't tell. Never. I still feel shocked and frozen in time.

Sara, I think I've had the same record with not taking a shower or bath. Appearance tends to play big for all of us, including myself. We are so used to showing how great we are and look: ptsd makes us look at the real inner us.

I confess at least once or twice a month I do not shower for a day or two. I don't brush my teeth either. I am embarrassed to say this here.

I would agree it is depression. One of the worst symptoms I have from PTSD is depression. I fight it everyday. For me my depression ranges for mild to severe. It can change from hour to hour during the day. I find keeping busy, thinking about something that makes me feel grateful and turning that negative self-talk into positive self-talk. With these technics I can usually change my mood, but like I said sometimes it takes a couple days. The dark clouds will lift.

Might be time to see your doctor about adjusting your meds. Might also be time to find a purpose to get up everyday and get showered and dressed. Volunteering can provide motivation to do just that, plus it gives you the added bonus of feel a sense of accomplishment which leads to improved confidence and self-esteem.

I've been dx with PTSD three times. I would believe it for a while and then go back to denial, the same with depression, I'd accept it for a while and the deny it again. The third time a T told me I had PTSD for some reason this time it stuck. I was describing to her how mentally painful it was to take a shower. I told her I have to go from being clothed and dry to naked and wet and then cold when I come out of the shower and I feel like the changes of it all almost shock me, it's so hard to do. My T said this is part of PTSD. Such a simple thing yet I was finally convinced. I'll really consider if this is also connected to being depressed. I rarely feel depressed. But I was sexually abused while taking a bath and I think there is a squeamishness there for me that echoes in my head. But I never shower anymore, I only bathe. I haven't taken a shower in over a year. But I have no problem bathing where the actual abuse memory is and showering where I have no abuse memories is very hard.
**TW

The teeth brushing issue is also related to sex abuse injuries for me. I have wounds & memories float in and out of my daily routine. I was orally raped many times. When this memory is just under the surface I can't bare to put something phallic shaped (electric toothbrush) into my mouth. I'll vomit if I force the issue. I have managed to stop beating myself up over not brushing. I brush if I have to go to work or have a date, even if I gag all the way through. I floss even if I can't brush. Floss is not phallic.
**end tw
I think it's important to minimize the damage of not doing this stuff by not beating yourself up with recriminations. It's so easy to believe we are WRONG in one way or another. I hope you can give yourself a break KatB.

I so relate to everyone. That has been my biggest problem lately. Completely ceasing to function. And its worse when there are things that have to be done like get feed for my animals and it takes an act of congress to get out and do it. I too have just laid in bed frozen for days and i love the post about staying in and sleeping in the same clothes for days inclusive of not bathing for a week. I think it happens too all of us. No ironically as I am ready to clean up there is no hot water so I have to take a cold shower in the winter. ugg.