Hi. Im not in this group much, but I have PTSD because I was severely physically and emotionally abused by my mother and sexually assaulted by my mothers friends son at 8. My name is Fallon. I write poetry and have hundreds of poems and a ton of stories. Im not sure if they are the cause, but I know the assault and abuse is connected to my eating disorder.

My therapist has been trying to get me to re-script the assault to get in the middle of the very vivid flashbacks and nightmares Ive had about it. Ive written some things, but nothing that changes what actually happened.

Untill Tuesday We were brainstorming ways I could re-write the flashback I had Monday night. I was just as stuck as I had been before in the session.

Then I came home. I knew I was ready to write something, but I didnt know what. I thought of one of my favorite songs, got my Ipod, and cranked the music on repeat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04FqzNn4gvo

This is what came out of me

Its My Time


Hello Coward,
Surprised?
Thought so
So am I
I never thought Id be able to do this
But here I am
Im here for one thing and one thing alone
Im here to take bacfk the peace youve stolen from me
The peace Jesus gave me
Its mine and you cant have it anymore
You will not violate that little girl again
You didnt see it then
But she has a survivors spirit
Shes been bullied and she will be abused
She has been and will be told
You cant at every turn
But these things will only make her fire
Her desire
Her passion
Her determination
Burn longer, stronger, hotter
She is a child of God
A beautiful, priceless princess
And Gods children always do more than conquer
You will try
But you will never destroy her
How do I know this?
She is who I used to be
She is 8 year old Ariel obsessed little me
Now that I have her
We are leaving
And I am taking the peace thats rightfully mine
Theres a time to stand
And the time is now or never
Time to fly
A time to let go forever
Time to grow
And a time to discover
Life is precious
Every second youve wasted of mine
And its my time
Time is what you make it
And its my time.
Goodbye
Fallon Marie