Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Everything that could go wrong in my life seems to constantly happen.
I went through a really traumatic time when I was younger and I've found it so difficult to come to terms with it, I shut myself in, get messed up and go unhealthy when things get tricky and I had a huge nervous breakdown complete with seeing a doctor and having to essentially try to get back on track.
I've contemplated suicide at times, but there are a lot of things that I stop at reaching. I'm not afraid of death but afraid of living sometimes and I stay here because I've managed to keep my brokenness well guarded on behalf of the ones that I love. I can't bear the thought of those people going to my funeral feeling sad or sorry for me. Plus, I really believe in having one life and trying the best that I can to give to the world before I'm gone.
I'm on the cusp of turning 25 but have just started trying to reach out, open and ask for help and I know I can be doing so much better then I am. I've been a great wreck of a person and recently I fell in love with someone who enjoyed using me for the good parts but turned away when I had a complete meltdown. I both don't blame them because I became such an 'unattractive' mess but also find them so cowardly because of how they did it, I just can't find the balance and when the calm comes it's wonderful but unable to stay. I try so hard to be a good person (which I believe is mandatory) and to achieve what I must but I make so many mistakes and I find myself getting messed up so much in this world, sometimes my fault, sometimes it's just a crappy world we live in. I need to be the person I know I am deep down, but don't have the strength at the moment to keep them alive. They're my true being and they're starting to crumble away, obscured by this tragic messy husk of a person.
I have some serious sadness issues and I need to just find the way to being better and finding my way through this. If anyone understands this kind of thing, please, I need your advice and help.
-
I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
-
I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
I often think that PTSD recovery is more about clearing the wreckage of life from atop those good, well intentioned folk we are and always have been. Setting our spirits free? Clearing away the mind-slides that have buried us?
Dunno. . . Just my guess of the day.
Welcome aboard. Keep sorting. Your own answers are in there. Gentle support while you sort.
The best way i have found to deal with the sadness is to just take day by day and do things to try and focus your mind on something else. Books and music help me along with the hope that one day things will start to get better. I will leave you with lyrics from a song " This is the sound of surviving, this is my farewell to fear. This is my whole heart deciding I'm still here and I'm not done fighting. No I'm not done fighting, This is the sound of surviving ".
In regards to how you are looking at yourself, you are NOT a waste of space. You are doing the best you can. Every day is a new challenge, but you are stronger than what you think or see. Look at what you have succeeded. You reached out when you needed help and advice. That, to me, is a major success. You are the best YOU, even at the darker moments. YOU are not "unattractive", you have your own features that no one else has. That makes you unique which in turn is beauty.
When you struggle, find something to keep you grounded. You could say like a hobby, something you like or even a certain object you like. Notice how it looks, feels, what do you taste while with this object or hobby, perhaps focus on what you hear around you when you are with this object. Find five good things around you. Write them out and start a list so you can see more good than bad when you are in your tough times. You are very brave and strong. Keep up the wonderful work.
My suggestion is much like the others. Keep sharing here when you need help or feel like you want to contribute and I always suggest therapy whenever possible. Sometimes it takes a few therapists to find the right one, but you will.