I'll be naive with you, arfie. It seems well worth it to try. We'll be here for you to support you and your family through this.

It's a discussion we've had more htan once, me and mom and Hubby. We sort of don't plan a time or place, but I look for times I know are going to be relatively more relaxed for all of us. Usually that's during a time when we're helping Mom with something, so we have a physical task to provide distractions and breaks and even a starting point---- usually for us we help Mom with groceries or similar.

So I know it can be done.

Always worth the try. Gentle vibes of support and help for you and yours.

I guess that the more you share and process, the better it's going to go. There are lots of cultures where multi-generational and multi-family living have been the norm for centuries, and sometimes it works out well, so take heart from that! Our culture is evolving just like all cultures do, so there's no reason that the folks who are doing all the doomsaying have any special access to The Truth. Your truth can be different from theirs. Your experience can be different from theirs. You have skills and understanding that a lot of people don't, so maybe you have an advantage here.

My unsolicited advice is to keep an eye on the areas of conflict that could arise and tackle them with an eye to negotiation before anything starts to fester. Make everything that you can explicit so that everyone knows where they stand and you aren't all operating on different sets of assumptions.

I don't see why this can't be a lovely opportunity for you to bond with your son, daughter in law and grandson in a way that enriches everyone's life and lightens everyone's burdens. You just have to be constantly conscious and communicative. If everyone has good will and readiness to compromise, it might very well work out beautifully.

Transition is very scary, I am in the middle of it myself moving in with a roommate for the first time in my life.

I'm confused as to the looking for a place to talk about the challenges of the transitions.. do you mean talking about it here or with the people involved with the transition? Sorry if I am misinterpreting.

I believe for some of us family sharing through pain and joy is possible when it once was not. I think if the situation shows promise it is a goal worth shooting for. I'm 42 and my mom and I never used to talk about the pain and did not get along at all. I have never been closer to her than now and we even respect each other, we laugh and share our pain. We are sharing our boundaries in a very healthy way.

Keep sorting, feel better and wishing all goes well

Ahhh, should have read further on the talk. I'm with Leo, I usually don't plan but take it by situation and how emotions are flowing. I think when the time comes you will feel it

:)

Hmm...I can't live in the same house with my mom anymore.

I think telling her all the crap I've remembered my dad doing to me would just hurt her to no good end, or the whole DID thing...but it means she doesn't know who i/we are.

My mom wants to put the past behind her. I can't. So that's a problem.

A joke from my 7 year old niece:

Did you hear that the New, Improved Barbie comes with GI Joe and all Ken's things?

Can we call the US a divorce culture? There are countless ways in which I feel far more radical for my 20 years (as of May) that I have been a housewife than I ever did in the 30 years between my entry into gifted math and science and my "retirement" from construction.

((((Arfie)))) hugs to you while you navigate these upheavals and changes. Hope it all works out for all you. Best, Manda xx

Well if doomsday is on it's way, I'd say the more family close to you the better.

The doomsaying I am running into on this particular transition runs more to the line of divorce, estrangement, "Toxic People," etc. You know, kinda like a "Friends" episode without the surgically enhanced players, staffs of script writers, directors, retakes and glow in the dark smiles.