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In over my head supporting student in crisis

Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd

I am in over my head supporting a student of mine right now, so I'm reaching out to you for my own support.  I just got an email from a former non-traditional death and dying class student of mine at the community college where I teach.  Her son signed up to take death and dying class with me this semester.  He started missing class last week, though.  Tonight I got an email from her saying he was addicted to heroin.  I knew he'd been through rehab, so this is a relapse.



Because I teach death and dying class, sometimes people reach out to me in their moment of crisis.  I refer them to a therapist I know if it's therapy they need.  I sent a reply saying so to her, and then I thought of emailing you for my own support.  I'm not an addiction counselor, nor am I going to get involved as a therapist or in any official capacity here.  I did lose someone to a drug overdose once, and the family asked me to be his pallbearer.  I did that, and the hard lesson from that funeral stuck with me.



That said, I'm willing to meet with this mom in her pain and just have a cup of coffee. So I immediately thought of you two as people I could turn to for my own support as I may have a cup of coffee with her to support her. Don't worry, that's all I'm going to do, it's all I am able to do.  I'm going to call her son's number that she gave me, but I don't expect him to answer.  Even if he does, it's only coffee for me and him then, too.  I can't do more.



I'm glad you are the kind I can turn to for support in offering to support someone else a little.  I don't judge here, and I know you don't, either.  Our town has a heroin epidemic going on among some really nice people, and it is bound to touch us some time.



Yours,



Muji




arfie
arfie
When you find that clear line between wishes and prayers, let me know, muji. I treat them like synonyms which have lots of good company in the synonym dictionary.

Praying and wishing with you. Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.
Zoe
Zoe
You are so full of giving. Please be careful and take care of yourself. The other thing I'd ask you to work on is referring to yourself as "just a community college professor". The job you do is important and is in no way insignificant. It's a job you can be proud of. Not just anybody could do it. You teach and that's a gift. ((Hugs))
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
holding together with arfie's supporting and maintaining " ... your balance on a tough equation"

excellent way of seeing/saying/supporting, arf xoxo

(((hugs))), muj
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
At least for today, things didn't escalate, and no news continued to be good news. I'll keep my promise to go out for that cup of coffee. The slower things go, though, the better for my having the emotional resources for the roller coaster that it is to show solidarity to a substance abuser's loved one.

Lilly, arfie, I'll keep mindful of that balance and keep wishing and praying. Zoe, thanks for being proud of me and my work. I'm proud of it, too. The modesty around "just being a community college professor" doesn't need working on, though, don't worry. It's a tool that keeps me free from developing one of those silly academic egos, it keeps me grounded.

Thanks for the support from all of you in this.
Spiral
Spiral
Muji, I think you have an opportunity to start connecting them with other resources. It might take a bit but fine some resources locally who specialize in this for them. There is nothing wrong with saying, I can help you locate resources that are better equipped to help you deal with this, my area of expertise is in death and dying and I don't want to lead you astray.
If it is starting to effect you, bow out. Your health is important and you are getting overwhelmed this will only lead to trouble for you.

In the mean tI'm self care self care and more self care

Hugs
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