Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hi Everyone,
I am victim of six crimes, 4 of which were violent - occurring from age 16 to 31 - and I've been mentally and emotionally abused by a parent. I've lived in fear, anxiety, depression, sadness, and, not to mention, anger (towards my abusers). I would say that 20 years of my life has been pretty badly damaged. When I was young up until recently, I didn't understand it when I saw others being happy - I didn't know or understand happiness...... there's more but I won't go into it.
From late last month, I began looking into the power of forgiveness, its benefits and how to do it. It was hard to understand so I had to repeat what I was reading. I then began the "how to forgive" part, and I've been feeling a lot better in just 4 weeks. I was even saying out loud who and what I forgive. I've finally understood that I am forgiving for me, not for those who caused me hurt and pain. Finally, my mind is gaining strength, and I'm learning to appreciate and live inside the Present.
Hope this helps some/many of you!
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
Congratulations on the discovery. The bitterness of non-forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the offender to die.
It sounds really pollyanna, I know, but I've been doing it for 2 years now and it helps. My PTSD hypervigilance is really strong in order to protect me, because I'm like you in having survived multiple assaults, in my case in domestic violence as kid, from a pedophile as a kid, and then in combat, too. Being deliberate about being thankful for something good every day gives my life a little balance between good and evil.
One thing I was surprised about in this forgiveness project was that one person I had to forgive was myself. Even though I'm not to blame for having mentally ill parents who went untreated and got violent, even though I'm not to blame for that guy being a pedophile, and even though I'm not to blame for the war I got caught up in, there still was an element of self blame in how I carried my trauma as an adult. Forgiving myself for being "available" to all of that trauma through no fault of my own helped as much as forgiving anyone else.
mujicaptsd, I agree, I was also surprised to read that I needed to forgive myself. For me, it's been forgiving myself for the anger I've felt towards my abusers, and for taking such a long time to accept what happened to me.... meaning these traumas were likely 'stuck' memories - but of course they were stuck, as this is abnormal stuff and the brain cannot "process" traumas on its own (and that's why I had 3 types of therapy). One of my abusers attacked me twice in probably the space of 25 seconds(?) but this tiny amount of time has had a major impact on me for about 7 years. Seven years of my happiness; gone.
However, one thing is for sure - our abusers have destroyed their own souls and they can't come back from this. But the souls of us victims remain in tact.