a trick from my therapist has given me some peace from my PTSD. It will hurt, the results will seem slow but it will benefit you.
Find somewhere quiet where no one can disturb you for a good while. Relax, breath deeply and watch the memory. Every bit if it right from the beginning. Feel every emotion it puts you through no matter how much you want to run away. Now do it again but this time reach out and peel away one color from that memory. Start slowly peeling the colors like wrapping paper and the emotions attached to them. It will take practice and multiple tries since certain moments will be more painful to watch through, you might not even want to touch them at first. But if you keep peeling away the emotions, once you're done, all that's left is a black and white film. The harsh truth is memories never really go away but you can control how they make you feel with practice.

I don't expect the people around me to understand my anniversary syndrome nor the hyper-vigilance, etc., attached. It be one of those places you can't understand unless you've been there and I wouldn't wish this understanding on my worst enemy, much less friends or loved ones.

I take the trigger effect out of my PTSD episodes by radically accepting and leaning ever so gently into those traumatic memories until they are *just* ugly memories which lack the power to take over the day I am currently living.

Gentle support while you find what works for you.

EMC you are not alone. We understand and cares. Everyone is right. I must add please don't give up because you are not alone. You have Friends and support here at DS.

My anniversaries start end of May and end in September. You are not alone.

When I am triggered, I give myself permission (and boy have I had to struggle to learn to do it!) to cry and scream and be upset. A pillow is my confidante, but ... the pillow also can't talk *back*. Trees are good confidantes, too. Write it out, apint it out, yell it out ----- but if the memories are overwhelming you, those are ways to take agency of them, for me. When we put words or paint on it, we impose control on it, is the theory.

A favorite image from my therapist is to imagine you stand on a beach and the memory is a wave. It rolls in, but it always rolls out again, an dyou're still standing on the beach. I substitute the idea of a thunderstorm ---- it rages and shakes the windows, but... I'm still here hwen it passes.

Healing hopes to you.

Thank you friends for your understanding! I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you get it! Thank you so much for your support!

Gentle hug EMC.... I am sorry to read how badly you're hurting right now... Do you ever do grounding techniques?... xo

Anniversaries are rough, EMC, that's for real. I just went through the first anniversary March 13th of my best friend's death from COVID-19. Every anniversary will bring that back, I know, but I've learned from my other ones that each time recovery is quicker from flashing back there. Especially if I don't recover alone. Good for you for reaching out to us to help you through this anniversary. Keep writing about it here through March 25th. We're here for you.

SunCloudJD, I'm a little embarrassed to say but, I don't know what you mean by grounding techniques... I don't know what to do I mean... Will you help me understand?

Grounding techniques is the technical term for ways to re-attach your consciousness to the here-and-now, is how I learned it.

I use:


Sensory shocks ---- ice on your neck, or feet; a sharp odor that is pleasant to you; tapping your finger on something to feel the texture.... do those and concentrate on those as much as you can.... it helps "ground" you. I carry a very strong breath mint with me, and crunch one when I feel the "oh no" of the PTSD flashbacks or emotions. The taste is so strong that it helps my body re-direct my brain's attention.

I also use this:

"I see..." repeat 3 times
"I smell..." times 3
"I hear..." times 3
"I feel..." times 3

That forces me to know where and when I am. I find it useful for my hubby to coach me in it, however, b/c in summer, I get so worn out from the anniversaries.

Did that help?

Thank you for explaining it to me. I've tried some similar things but, not all of those things... but it doesn't always work...

I use my favourite place in my home.... You talk 'out loud' about your favourite room.... Describe it in detail

Colours, fabrics, furnishings, ornaments.... You talk about it ... so I may say I have a really comfortable rot iron and brass bed.... My mattress is really comfortable... I have a white and mauve bed throw... The walls are light beige and so on... You have to speak this though

I find that I start to de- stress pretty quickly.... These techniques do work...

Colouring can also help to de-stress.... xo

Coloring has an amazing power to de-stress and helps in better control of negative thoughts. Whenever we get involved in coloring, the spark of creativity produces an immediate soothing effect on mental status. Stress and anxiety level gets lowered. Negative thoughts are expelled so easily and we get an improved mood and positive mental status.

https://creativityintherapy.com/2017/03/grounding-techniques/

Some info on grounding.... xo

Thinking of you again today and sending support, EMC!

Thank you Muji... :)

You betcha. Sending support all the time through this date you're working through, EMC.