Hi Secouya. I don't know why but your thread was at the bottom of my DS feed and caught my eye. I joined to share information I have learned attending a dementia caregiver group for four years.

First, all the comments have had excellent suggestions. From music therapy, to "loving lies" (meeting them where they are at, not trying to correct them, redirecting them instead).

When you see the neurologist, is it at a hospital office? Whatever the case, check with your insurance and see if Palliative Care is included. Palliative begins at time of diagnosis and is NOT the same as hospice. Palliative provides a support service team as the diagnosis progresses. If the neuro's office is in a hospital setting, the hospital may have social/caseworkers who can help.

Also check with the disability lawyer and see if their office has a case or social worker who can direct you to any programs that might be available.

Your county or state Department of Aging may also be able to help.

Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow have videos online about how to handle dementia. Tam Cummings' book, UNTANGLING ALZHEIMER'S is excellent, and the information can be applied or adapted to most forms of dementia.

In our area a company called "Visiting Angels" has a program called "Angel Visits". They are short visits to help with some of the ADLs, and last I heard a contract didn't need signed. (That may have changed with COVID.)

I hope this helps. Everyone is correct, this should not be handled by one person. And you have enough to shoulder.

Thinking of you again today, Secouya. Did your brother take him out for another walk today too?

Thank you all for your continued support and suggestions. I have already started with some of your ideas. The pillow idea Lilmissy suggested is helping. Sewing labels on clothing is great. I am having some created., I will contact some of the resources suggested. My husband’s brother has been a huge help!

Your support and suggestions have really helped me so much. Thank you all!

So cool about his brother, Secouya!

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this alone there, but you're not alone here. My step dad has dementia. Most of the time they are like young children, you can get them to help with simple chores with a reward system most of the time. I would try with something small... like taking the trash out for a small treat that he likes I have lots of ideas you try can try... message me any time.

While I was on my own walk today I thought of his brother taking him out for a walk, too, the other day. Hope that did happen again, Secouya.

Thank you EMC2 and Muji. We went to Alcatraz on Sunday because my husbands brother had never been. It was quite a challenge, but my husband seemed to have fun and his brother helped me keep track of him. I was exhausted by the end of the day, but I am glad that his brother was able to come down and spend time with him.

I can imagine what a challenge visiting Alcatraz with your husband would be, Secouya, but I'm really grateful his brother continues to spend such time with him.

Hey, I didn't check in yesterday, Secouya. How're you with hubbie today? How's his brother?

Praying for your strength and your in-person support network. Hoping others besides his brother will be available at times too, but it's a process to be sure.

Sending some more support your way. Remember self-care, it will help.

Peace and blessings.

I just finished my daily walk, Secouya, and while I was walking I was picturing your husband's brother taking him for those walks you've mentioned. Hope they get another walk in.

How are you doing?

Hi Muji, thank you for your continued support. It means a lot. My husbands brother left midweek. It’s been raining so we haven’t been out much. I am hanging in there. Cried for the first time in many years. Didn’t know that I could . Just trying to stay busy and not think about what’s happening but I know I have to face the reality. It’s not helping that I have to face one of my abusers this week in a deposition of them by my attorney. I told him it was going to be very triggering for me, but he wants to see her lie to my face. This is going to be a hard week.

((((Secouya)))))
Sending you lots of support & many prayers
Gentlest of hugs <3

I agree, Secouya, with Muji. Also sending you support

Holy cow, Secouya, letting her lie to your face is going to be tough even if it is a successful legal strategy. Sending you lots of support so you can batten down the hatches to ride that one out. Yikes.