Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hi, I know I am part of this support group for a reason. Right now, I am kind of freaking out because I know I have therapy sessions for my condition and I have a cd player to play something. I feel like I am going a bit out of my mind because I know I am supposed to listen to it for my therapy sessions, kind of like homework. My memory and my head is playing with me right now and I am really scared.
A part of me knows its for a therapy I am taking at a clinical study but a part of me right now feels really, really lost and scared. Tell me I am not going crazy. My heart feels a little thumpy and I am just like, what the hell is going on? I know I belong here because of my membership, but tell me that this is normal and its part of my COMPLEX Ptsd? Okay, i need help from you guys...
I am going in and out of memory and suddenly, I am just in a really bad daze. I even felt like if the living room was spinning earlier while I was praying. I feel like my own mind is stopping me from doing my homework from the therapist. I remember telling her details about why and I think it relates back to my brother and mom, who emotionally/psychologically abandon and abused me. Why am I scared of becoming better when I know its for me?
A part of me knows its for a therapy I am taking at a clinical study but a part of me right now feels really, really lost and scared. Tell me I am not going crazy. My heart feels a little thumpy and I am just like, what the hell is going on? I know I belong here because of my membership, but tell me that this is normal and its part of my COMPLEX Ptsd? Okay, i need help from you guys...
I am going in and out of memory and suddenly, I am just in a really bad daze. I even felt like if the living room was spinning earlier while I was praying. I feel like my own mind is stopping me from doing my homework from the therapist. I remember telling her details about why and I think it relates back to my brother and mom, who emotionally/psychologically abandon and abused me. Why am I scared of becoming better when I know its for me?
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
An altered state IS scary. My first steps toward sanity where among the most frightening and disorienting of my life. Whatever the pains of my illness, they were familiar. I understood what to expect from those pains far better than I understood this sanity business.
You can do this Kat. It is okay to feel lost and confused. It is part of the journey. Great adventures await you.
Just one panic attack can ruin your whole day.
Now at least I have learned such states will pass. Knowing this has both made them easier to bear, and less likely to occur.
Just hold on deep inside.
My heart goes out to you.
If this is part of a clinical trial, is there anyone you can report your reaction to, just to make sure treatment is not creating unintended adverse effect?
I know what you mean by 'daze' - only too well. Sending hugs.
I remember a time that I felt like that. I couldn't figure it out and felt "crazy", but later I started to pinpoint the triggers. Then it made sense because the triggers linked to terrible memories. Even if the thing itself was innocuous. I think it's very important not to be hard on yourself and not to start thinking that you're crazy. That just piles on more fear and then shame. Neither will help you.
Maybe you could start writing, free associating what this CD, CD player and possible the therapist mean to you. Sometimes writing with your non-dominant hand can help get you in touch with the more vulnerable side of your psyche. Good Luck--we've all been there. Keep taking those steps forward, you will make progress.