Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
...still no effin' driver's license. My doc has the medical board paperwork...but has not filled it out. Will call clinic and annoy a hapless nurse today...but gently.
Working at the haunted house is...surprisingly painful. Fun, but it's apparent how badly I've been neglecting my body. I don't like being physically weak and easily injured. It also makes me more vulnerable to physical attack and i know that.
Besides? I would like to be about 30 pounds lighter. There's research that says I'll get better job offers, am likely to get paid more. No, it's not fair, it's fat discrimination, but it is what it is.
That and I want to get offered more sexual opportunities with people who are actually attractive. :D. Mr Crazypants has ownership of my heart and other various bits, but we're in an honest, open relationship...meaning we talk this stuff out. I already had one girlfriend.
That being said? I'm really wanting him. But... GRR! ( insert raging 42-year old hormones here...)
The other day I got obedience THE FIRST TIME out of the poosome twosome...my brother's twins. They were eating the dogfood again and would not vacate the foyer where the dogfood is. They were not listening to grandma. I walked over, said " GET OUT!" in my command voice, and I glowered. The twins looked at each other, at my exaggerated version of my "I mean it," face...and they went.
...Apparently, obeying orders the first time is a rare thing for the kiddos.
(...The lad said " yeah " the other day when asked if he wanted a fruit roll-up, so they do understand, they are just still working out how to talk back. And I'm sure they *will* talk back...:p. Love those kids.)
Working at the haunted house is...surprisingly painful. Fun, but it's apparent how badly I've been neglecting my body. I don't like being physically weak and easily injured. It also makes me more vulnerable to physical attack and i know that.
Besides? I would like to be about 30 pounds lighter. There's research that says I'll get better job offers, am likely to get paid more. No, it's not fair, it's fat discrimination, but it is what it is.
That and I want to get offered more sexual opportunities with people who are actually attractive. :D. Mr Crazypants has ownership of my heart and other various bits, but we're in an honest, open relationship...meaning we talk this stuff out. I already had one girlfriend.
That being said? I'm really wanting him. But... GRR! ( insert raging 42-year old hormones here...)
The other day I got obedience THE FIRST TIME out of the poosome twosome...my brother's twins. They were eating the dogfood again and would not vacate the foyer where the dogfood is. They were not listening to grandma. I walked over, said " GET OUT!" in my command voice, and I glowered. The twins looked at each other, at my exaggerated version of my "I mean it," face...and they went.
...Apparently, obeying orders the first time is a rare thing for the kiddos.
(...The lad said " yeah " the other day when asked if he wanted a fruit roll-up, so they do understand, they are just still working out how to talk back. And I'm sure they *will* talk back...:p. Love those kids.)
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
I don't understand why anyone wants to control another person...Besides making said other person miserable, the challenge of getting along with their difficult and beautiful self just as they are is much more entertaining.
Oh...and I need a way better day job. Security? I want to do it part time, but not full-time. Not going to cut it anymore. I need more money than it pays. Security supervisors are generally expected to be on call 24/7 and say what? ...I could handle being on-call 2 or 3 days a week, but all the freakin time? NO! if offered, I will negotiate for that, and I want it in writing in case they try to fire me for telling them " this isn't my on-call night, I alrady gave you 50 hours this week, I can't come in
I know, I freak over the least extra ounce, and it's not right or fair, but it's the world. Even people who are twice my weight will judge my body. *grr*
Don't know about "anyone," but I know I go into control mode when I have had all the surprises I can handle. In control mode, I would rather get rid of people than try to control them, but if I gotta put up with humans, THEY better be on THEIR best behavior.
Working on it. I have gotten as far as letting go of the illusion of control. I can now admit that I never was in control in the first place. My efforts to control my environment were just another series of lies I was telling myself.
Thanks for the "Gress" report, blue. Sounds like you are doing well.
Other thoughts:
Is it possible to grow without testing limits? Hope your poosome twosome keep on growing and you keep on setting those limits for them to test.
Being strong is somewhat in mild opposition to being skinny... Especially as hard workouts require food.
No food+workout equals dizziness, nausea, and...you know those those two blackouts I had? Yeahhhhh....fasting plus workout.
I've hsd that happen, actually. Oh, I was skinny and muscular and *miserable*. I had to live on diet caffeinated beverages and even so felt rotten.
Twenty pounds later, I'm not as musculed or taut but am also post-injury partial disabled, and argh.... yet...
I had a terrible tendency to pack on muscle weight and bulk, by nature, so...
I am, essentially, a mess. So don't sweat it, BD, do what's *healthy*. I can no longer run a 5K but I can walk for 30 minutes at a gentle to moderate pace and not feel ill or anything. For me, with the bum hip? That's like winning a contest. So to each her/his own.