Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
So it is getting harder and harder for me to leave the house.I mean I will if I absolutely have to,and I know the longer I avoid going out the harder and harder it is going to be for me to go out at all,and that scares me.I worry I am on the border of becoming agoraphobic...
I become so fearful of some...oh I don't know,intangible thing about to happen.I am on high,high alert when I am out and as well my OCD assaults my head with intrusive disturbing thoughts and I become very distressed.
Mindfulness when I am out and about is super challenging.I tend to either be hyperaware of all that is going on around me,or in a dazed,dissociative state which can almost make me miss my streetcar stop.I feel so flustered when I am out,I feel that cashiers at stores can tell there is something very,very wrong with me as I fumble around for my debit card and my bags.
I cannot stand those arrows on store floors these days as I am always going in the wrong direction.
When I have to go out,I take a list with me,but,again get flustered,confused,overwhelmed and afraid and inevitibly forget something even with my list because I just want to get in and out as quickly as possible.
Maybe I am being exta paranoid,but to me,it seems like people are so suspicious of one another these days.I am a huge fraud when I am cheerful with those cashiers.
So,how to stop this in it's tracks before I cannot leave the house at all?
How to ground myself while I am in The Outside World? I have tried carrying a stone,I cannot seem to do the "Pick 5 things exercise" (My OCD gets in the way of that).
Coming home the evening I was discharged from the hospital I thought I should turn back as I was so afraid on the streetcar and bus,and just of my huge huge city.I mean this,everything looked bizarre.People looked morphed into something else.It looked like it was dark out when it was too early in the evening for it to get dark.I thought i had gone mad.
When I got home,even my surroundings looked strange,unfamiliar.I guess I can probably chalk that up to being inside a mental health unit for 3 weeks.Some kind of culture shock.
I feel,for the most part safe in my apartment,except when my neighbours are acting up,making noise that makes me jump or just hold my head and say,"Please stop please stop...."
But that all I just made into a run on sentence (My apologies) wasn't really my point,except to say that I am more often afraid these days than feeling safe.Dr.S wants me to get out at least twice a week.I suppose I do,for errands.But I really have to use self talk to get out the door."It's not going to take very long,you will be back home soon."
I don't know if anyone else here has this trouble,or has overcome it.A crisis worker recently tried to talk me into going for walks,which I know *are* good for me,I always enjoy the endorphins from a walk,but my head just gets too loud with OCD and my PTSD has me always on that high alert,waiting,waiting for something terrible to happen.
And nobody can truly reassure me that nothing will happen.
Because you never know.
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The weeks seem to fly by!Happy Saturday to everyoneI hope that the weekend brings some chill time and barbecuesDoes it take others what seems like forever to add a comment on the boards?I'm okay everywhere else except boards..Everywhere else adds normally but it's annoyingly slow!Have a great Saturday and do something nice for you!!Big hug...xo
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I'm feeling down,, and got alot on my mind right now. I got grief going on, on top my depression and anxiety and now I got to worry about somewhere to live since I can't afford living here since my mom passed. So many bad things have happened since my mom passed. One thing after another it seems. Yesterday our fence fell from a storm that hit, had to call someone to prop it up. Thank...
I hate being out and about. PTSD does that anyway. So don't overthink, okay? Take a short walk more than once a day, to get used to the idea of "outside is okay enough"? That's how I have had to approach it. No more long rambles, just two/three short trips. I get more control over the whole thing that way. I map out shortcuts home if I need one, too. That's possible where I live, in safety, b/c we're in a quiet neighborhood.
So... just .... you are not alone, and you need to remember that when you TAKE a walk, you CONTROL that walk. It's not like the store or errands, where you have other people's choices. It's YOUR walk. Just yours. If it means walking at dawn, when nobody is out, so be it. That sort of thing, see?
Puma power.
I don't believe anyone really feels secure that nothing will happen. We truly don't know. I'm working the odds that a good outcome is as likely as a catastrophic one.
I would try to get out even if it's a small distance and focus on the weather and clouds or sun and sky...
I don't want to get so I can't go out either... Another big hug.....xo
So sorry you struggle with this as well.
Glad you have your beloved dog to help you to get out....
I try to bring things with me that can engage my senses. For instance, I find certain scents and essential oils calming. When I am at home and feel calm, I put on these scents so I will associate it with a feeling of safety. After that link is established, I put it on before going out and smell my wrist when I am feeling completely adrift.
I also will find bathrooms to find a moment of safety. I'll put my hand over my chest, breathe, and literally talk to myself.
Daily walks with my dog are helping my social anxiety. We can talk about the dog, who is my protector, and I can use her as an excuse to return home if I need. Seeing my dog happy, and the joy she brings when she visits others, makes me feel more a part of my surroundings.
Sending love.
I have actually been considering getting a service dog to help me with all of my anxiety...
Yes,the inside world can be scary as well.And my inner world...I often fear I will lose control.
I rarely cry.(Although I did plenty of that in the hospital)
I fear if I weep I may never stop.
I know how to ground myself,I do.
Just yesterday I had to sit for awhile with an ice pack on the back of my neck to bring myself back to the present.
So to feel Safe.Ever Safe.
My,what what would that be like??
Proud of you for continuing to take your walks.You inspire to push through.
Thank you kindly for your support.
You mentioned carrying a stone. You could try holding a tumbled rose quartz in your hand or pocket for its calming and loving energies, or citrine for confidence and courage. Now, if one does not buy into the whole idea that crystals have metaphysical properties and is just "a rock", that's fine. Merely a couple suggestions to try if you haven't done so. Lavender essential oil dabbed on the wrists or behind the ears can help calm one's emotions and mental state too. Something I myself should try more, lol.
Anyway, hope this helped somewhat. :) You are not alone.