Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Exposure Therapy

arfie
arfie

Electric lights remain one of my most therapy resistant PTSD triggers. They whip me back to child pornography sets and an entourage equal gnasties. They weigh so heavily that even light metaphors can trigger me to physical symptoms. Keep your Light out of my eyes, Creepo.


My current camp site is in a park with trailer park style lighting. I started kicking myself soon after the camp was set up and I realized I was set up in the direct glare of two high pressure sodium lights. How could I have missed THAT!?!?!? I decided to treat it like impromptu exposure therapy. Last night made night two. Sleep has been restless and dreams have been dramatic, but I think I am holding steady. Haven't shot any hot bulbs with ice water from my high pressure water gun yet. . . I am grateful that is still in Texas. One less temptation.


I contracted this camp site for 4 nights to give myself a break from the driving. This morning finds me debating whether to challenge another two nights of the exposure therapy or move on to more natural night lights. I was hoping for some star gazing. The open field next to my campsite would be ideal without the high pressure sodium stars stealing the show.


Thoughts and/or support appreciated.

marie8614
marie8614
I'm sorry Arfie, please don't over tax yourself. Moving to natural night light might be better for now...gentle hugs...you are in my thoughts and sending you support I'm with you!
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Give yourself breaks, arfie. As you know, my exposure therapy involved being willing to come back to where I survived a 1967 bombing as a kid, to Latin America after avoiding the place for 17 years. After exposure therapy now I'm writing you from Latin America all fired up to retire in here.

The job of exposure therapy back to the bomb site took me from 2009-2014, though, and I didn't do it alone. My therapist prepared me from 2007-2009 to start. To finish in 2014 my old college roommate class of 1979 came with me to that corner for my final round of exposure therapy. Just saying that for me, I did it very, very slowly and I didn't do it alone. Give yourself a lot of time and support. Gentle support from me to you.
arfie
arfie
I've been working on this particular trigger for decades. It is one mean-ass papa. I've made progress with it and no longer get dramatic reactions I can't control, but it remains a gnasty gnarly. I still can't listen to light/dark metaphors without getting eye aches, etc.

I decided to brave another night. Aside from the night brights, it is a sweet spot. Gorgeous countryside! It would be nice to be able to encourage budding poets, etc., who just can't seem to resist the over-used cliches like light/dark. Gotta start somewhere. . .
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