Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I was the designated scapegoat in my dysfunctional family system from childhood through age 52 as an adult, so I know the bitterness of unfair dysfunctional family disappointment. I was an honors student when I lived at home, and when I went to college I got a rare Fulbright Scholarship which would have made any parent proud.
But I got nothing but criticism and ridiculous attacks on my credibility instead. The weirdest was when I got an actual beating in high school when I got home from starring in the school play. Not the usual parent's response to their kids' success. Most parents would cheer their kid from the sidelines for things like pitching a good Little League baseball game. Not mine.
My dad happened by my bedroom one night when I was in high school and asked me what homework I was working on. I mentioned the author I was reading for my high school teacher's homework assignment. He didn't like that author, so believe it or not, I got another beating--beating for doing my homework. Most parents would be glad their kid did his homework. Not mine.
It never stopped through adulthood. No matter how many coping skills I acquired in my therapy, all they did with that was use it to twist it around to say that I was in therapy because I was the only crazy person in the family. It showed it was never going to change with them, never. So as many of you know, after I got punched in the face for nothing by my 80 year father at Christmas 6 years ago, I quit going back for more. I started coming here to DS PTSD instead.
Now I try to show appropriate kinds of care to people who don't get it from their loved ones because I know what it's like. A student of mine was pregnant throughout the class she took from me this Spring semester. Last night I ran into her by chance at the grocery store. She showed me a photo of her new baby, and I said to bring her by school today, since it's the last day of summer school, to show her baby off to us.
Turns out her baby's father ran out on her 6 weeks before the baby was born, so there's no guy that's held the baby and made a fuss. So I held the 3 week old baby and I was the one who made a fuss.
I guess what it shows is that some of us don't get the family we deserve, but we choose other people and make our own family of support anyway. Like when we come here and support each other on DS PTSD.
Does anybody else here at DS PTSD have this "family" of choice as their support or is it just me?
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I too was the family of origins scapegoat along with many other labels... bad,dumb,no good. Physical violence ie: slapped,hit with a belt. Never punched but lots of slaps enough to black my eyes
I was to make them proud, never myself. It was all about them,parents. I left home of origin in my teens. never lived there again
I didn't find DS until about ten years ago. That was when I began to face my past. To try and make my life better.
I am glad you have family here and have left that foo (family of origin). Your courage I like very much and your perseverance & others as well encourages my own healing work.
I came here in November & you guys have been a blessing to me. Also....... thank you for bringing such a great sense of family to the board, it's pretty cool :)
(((((((Gentle hugs))))))))
i have written off my two brothers....i now consider my older brother to be an old older friend
whom i trust completly...and DSPTSD has definitley come to feel like family to me,so i thank you all
for being there for me.
Cookie monster is barking hello
ALl my remaining family are my family of choice. Some are still by blood. Most? No.
Oh yeah. Chosen family. Much better!
And despite my finishing tops tops tops, not one word did I get. Mom didn't want my sister to feel "less", Dad just didn't think perfect scores were perfect enough. Praise? For my sister being such a pretty girl, an outgoing girl, but not for... well, my dad's only compliment to me was that I work hard. Pride? A sin. Mustn't allow it.
Sorry, hit some deep nerves (apparently behind that kneecap?)
Thanks for posting, Muji, and all others....
*hugs*
I was always the black sheep ..... I was always ashamed of being me..... it was more psychological, tormenting, ignoring, name calling, alcoholism then physical although there was physical abuse as well....
We all deserved better then we got..... I still carry so much guilt for being me and it still hurts me
I'm so glad that you're all here..... Big hugs......xo
I never had a family of choice, wish I did. Now that I'm older I have found replacements and its nice to see what healthy can be
family is a standard sociological phenomenon that so many of us shared. So
common that we have that acronym for it mentioned here: "FOO" or "Family Of
Origin," for us more often toxic than not. It's really painful no matter who you
are, especially in your formative years.
The loneliness of it is the most unbearable for a youngster, so it's great that we
have each other's company here in group support as an option for creating a sense of family of choice for ourselves here.