Sorry you're having a hard time :(

That sounds miserable. I am sorry. I also keep getting stuck in dark places.

Half the time when I'm not exhausted I'm filled with anger towards almost everything around me. Especially when having to put up with the offensive levels of hypocrisy from some group members. It makes me feel like the abuse continues even on here, and I cannot begin to describe how frustrating/aggravating that is for me.

I have to put up with the abuse, painful flashbacks/dissociations, and all the other issues I have all day and have no people or places to get support from offline. Then when I come on the only place I've been able to find online that offers anything resembling support I have to put up with various hypocritical or abusive members.

It feels like I have no outlets or escapes from the pain, stress and frustration. It all keeps building up and I'm starting to occasionally feel like just bashing my head against something just to make the pain stop because it's that bad and never seems to diminish.

Steadying wishes, Sleepy.

Are you working any kind of program? Practicing grounding techniques? Anything of that sort?

So, or no, sending healing hopes.

I can't afford any professionally run programs or things like therapy. I've been using grounding techniques and such that I've been able learn about though. Even with those I feel like a mess. It just feels like more hiding in a corner while covering my eyes/ears and trying ignore the sources of the pain/abuse.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time and feeling as though you aren't receiving the support you'd like here. Sending well wishes and positive vibes your way, I sincerely hope you find the outlet you're searching for.

Have you tried the male survivors site? I would be surprised if they turned you away even if the abuse you had wasn't physical or sexual.
I don't know much about it tbh but it seems like a good thing to give a chance.

There are allot of non-professional programs. I have benefited from professional help when I could find and afford it, but it is the peer support which most sustains me. Don't be afraid to get creative. They don't need to be label specific. They work if you work them and you are worth it. Sure hope you find something, sleepy. PTSD is not a safe neighborhood to travel alone. I need a network to deal with mine.

Gentle support and sustaining hopes.

@Rizen:

I looked through the male survivor site, but it didn't look like it would be a good fit. The area of their site where my type of issues would belong is nearly exclusively discussions of cases of sexual abuse or rape and incest. On top of that, from what I saw it wasn't a particularly active group in that section of the site. If it were a more active group it might be more promising/helpful though.


@arfie:

DS is currently the closest thing I have to peer support. Even then the support is very hit-and-miss. I seem to regularly encounter members who are dismissive of my problem or who make insensitive/offensive/sexist remarks in discussions (either knowingly or unknowingly) that remind me far too much of my abusers or feel too much like they're condoning the actions of the abusers.

I feel conflicted on how to react when I encounter these situations on DS. Part of me wants to just hide and not speak up when it happens since everyone here has issues of their own that they're trying to deal with and I don't want to make things worse. The other part of me wants to call them out on it when they make those kinds of comments, but that seldom seems to work out. Even broaching my concerns on a given instance while avoiding accusatory language is met with hostility.

Sleepy:

I've been thinking a lot about this -- your negative interactions with a few people on this website.

How about judiciously using the "ignore user" feature ??

To be honest ... there've been a few people who simply triggered me. I tried to just 'manually' ignore them, but I'd run across their posts and get really edgy.

Then ... if only for a couple of weeks ... kind of as a trial period ... I used the "ignore user" feature, and took a little break.

It helped.

I wonder if it could help you, too ?

You DO risk 'losing' the good/helpful/constructive things they might say, but ... sometimes ... you need what you need. Sometimes, it's worth risking all the upside just to avoid the downside.

That's yet another way that this site is easier to navigate than the 3-D world: you can click a button, and never hear from a particular person again, if you need to ;-)

I wish you peace, health, and strength.

SW, maybe you should try to find medical help? The "electricity" jolts could be a neurological thing that a medical doctor could help---I know money is an issue, but is there a free clinic or similar in your area? Medicaid? Anything like that? Sorry it's so bad for you. I just worry that with your stress levels, you could be having your PTSD making your body really sick. I know when I'm in the dark places and feeling that exhausted, my pre-existing medical issues tend to go haywire.

As for hypocrisy, well, we're all inconsistent, but we're all works in progress, so just go ahead and use the Ignore User button. If you come back and find the user still annoys, click, they're gone again.

Keep us posted. Healing wishes.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with everything. Although I'm fairly new here and don't know your circumstances to much I relate to some issues here on DS. Hang in there because there are some very supportive people here. Although there are a few that aren't you can find support here. Although I have no idea about the ignore feature or how to use it I like the idea of it. Sending you some extra healing tonight.

The electrical jolts are one of the side effects some people experience when taking a particular medication that I happen to be on. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was little and continue to be on meds for it as an adult. The cost of this is one of the reasons I have so little money for the problems I have now. (Coincidentally, I read something about there being speculation that development of cptsd or similar trauma issues in children is possibly frequently misdiagnosed as ADD.)

The doctor I see for those meds is unfortunately not one who treats the issues I have now. Even if they were I would feel unable to trust them with the issues I have now since they treat other family members and there is the risk of that information being accidentally leaked to them or my family noticing changes in how long visits to that doctor take me if I started seeing them for new reasons.

As I have discussed before, I have explored every concievable and suggested possible source of treatment where I live. The only way I can afford/get treatment of any kind would be if I manage to get a better paying job and a place of my own to live in.


As for using the ignore feature: I've used it before, but I am hesitant to use it on everyone who makes the remarks that bother me so much. If I did then I'm not sure how many members there would be left in the groups I'm in to get support from. That's another reason I've grown so frustrated.