IF I am reading you right. . .

The thread you are pulling in my own recovery weave is what I have been calling, "Transitional phase." Well. . . I've called it other things, as well. It is a slippery phenom to catch, much less label.

My transitional phase is where I have made enough therapy progress to be different than I was, but I am not fully confident in what I am becoming. Comparing it to physical therapy, I might say that the injury is well on its way to healing but my system still needs to rebuild its strength.

Support group hopping and workshops are among my favorite tools for my transitional phases. It helps me open to new possibilities without the pressure to explain myself. A gentle introduction to the new me?

Gentle support while you find what works for you, Phoenix.

Phoenix, I think arfie's on to something by naming what you're going through as a transitional phase. I changed, too, after I did exposure therapy. It empowered me somewhat, and so I shifted to some independence I hadn't had before. That meant less dependence on the people who supported me pre exposure therapy because I was a little more able to get on my own two feet.

So be gentle with yourself, it might be growing pains. On the other hand, I'm glad to see you're very cautious and humble about it, because none of us needs to isolate, either.

Let me know if this is in the right ball park or not.

Mindfulness is helpful., there are many books on it (try your local library even). There is also an excellent book called The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk. If you don't want to read the book, look him up on youtube, he gives some very interesting talks.

The idea is that daily meditation & mindfulness practice helps us stay present, helps us not get caught & carried off by the past or worries about the future. There are also (physical) changes in the brain.

I'm new to it myself & I am in crisis at present so I am not sure how effective it's going to be, but I have found it helpful in some less high intensity situations already...hopefully with more practice I will be able to apply it to the bigger issues like disassociating & being triggered

It's really easy to isolate yourself with ptsd. I do all the time and it feels normal to me to do.

Phoenix, something that happens to me when exposed to emotional triggers from the past is to "self-numb" myself, not saying this is you, but it is, I think, part of my transitional phase...until I can process it. It is a learned behavior from childhood that as an adult I found out I still did after being re-traumatized. It took some time, rest, isolating, then slowly I felt a little more grounded. At first I thought it was just depression, but I realized after twice accidently burning my arm taking food out of the oven, but never felt a thing until the burn became infected...it is the strangest feeling. Hope you feel better, you are not alone. Hugs

Hi PhoenixQueen, I just wanted to tell you that this also has happened to me with people who are not survivors. It is good you are trying to overcome this and connect with people. You are not alone. (((Hugs)))

Wow. Thank you all for the awesome feed back. It is very helpful just knowing that someone else has been through this. I do have a few friends that have PTSD, but when I have tried to talk to them about what is going on, it is like I am talking in a foreign tongue. lol
Arfie... Support groups and workshops might be a little hard for me because I have a Social Anxiety diagnosis. "Transitional phase" does seem to hit the nail on the head though. Transition is what it does feel like. I just talked to my fiance yesterday about the need to be gentle with myself right now. He is going to do his best to help me along with that. I have been viewing this whole phase as having to learn how to live life again.
Muji... I do feel my strength and my confidence slowly but surely returning. There has been a significant decrease in flashbacks, which is a first for me considering I started having flashbacks when I was 14. I am now 31. So I think that as thrown my brain for a loop. It doesn't know what to do with itself. lol. Its is like my brain and body system is freaking out because it does not know what calm is. lol.
Duvessa.... I have been hearing a lot about Mindfulness lately. I remember my therapist mentioning this once or twice. I have been meaning to look into the whole of what that entails. And thank you for the book advice. Books and writing seem to help me the most. I am a bit of a book worm. lol.
KAdunn.... Yes it is very easy to isolate. And I get a double whammhy with that because I am also Bipolar 1. So yes. It becomes a form of comfort after a while.
cheesecake..... I do know about the self numbing. I have been guilty of that more than once. Therapist tells me that I need to try not to do that because it can hinder the process. Problem is for me, I do it whenever I feel like my trust has been broken or I get hurt. I go into this mode where I simply do not want to feel and it effects everything.
Positive..... than you for the hugs and the supportive words. (((hugs))) back to you.

Social anxiety is one of my most therapy resistant symptoms. Even here in the minimal stimulus (no smells, etc.) of cyber space, people still scare me. I isolate like a mad dog. Even sitting in human structures (houses, cars, et al) is more human interaction than I can handle some days.

There, too, support groups help. Nobody looks at me weird if I stand near the door in full flight mode. It's compassionately allowed.