Oh, man, that's a crapfest situation if ever there was one.

Don't put too much on yourself, okay? That stress is the *last* thing you need. YOu and your mom are sharing this loss... Be kind to her, to yourself, okay?

Dealing with loss is... ongoing. In a weird way, I lost my mom in 2016, but she's still alive ----- long story short, a brain tumor altered her personality significantly ---- and I'm still figuring out how to deal with losing "my" mom while this person with her name and face is sitll here. Nobody who knew her before the tumor thinks she's the same, so it's not me... ANd it's surreal. When I think, "Wow, my mom would love this!' I have to remind myself... "She isn't here. But I can enjoy this and think about good times with her."

And sometimes, yeah, that helps. So does crying a lot. Sucks, but true, for me, at leats.

Support .

Gentle empathy, Michael. That is allot to process.

I am currently grieving my youngest son (35) and his wife who were killed in a car wreck in Sept 2019 while simultaneously beginning my second parenting career in caring for their 3 young orphans. The Corona crowning still feels like cruel and unusual punishment. The five members of my household are not at significant risk from The Virus, but the risks from being isolated with all this feel enormous.

I am coping by gently leaning into my pain whenever, wherever it arises. This allows me to process the loss more thoroughly and in bigger chunks while holding on to the wealth of his presence in my life. I work to make every tear a tribute to his gentle soul and a life well lived. It is still no fun, but some days I believe his memory is growing into a comforting presence to guide me more than a reminder of his loss.

I don't quite believe you when you say there is nothing you can do to help your mom. "Help" can come in many, many forms. I am wondering if continued venting and sorting here might help you find what you CAN still do in the face of your own tremendous losses. Just wondering. . . It remains yours to sort.

Gentle support while you sort.

Sorry
Life is sure not fair, it is harsh

The guilt we carry is created by us feeling not good enough

Have you tried healing on your own

Meditation stopped my fight or flight mechanism from firing fir Ptsd unreal danger

You can improve

It takes daily effort and courage

It is not easy and most sufferers of Ptsd never take action

Good luck

Huge hug of comfort and support for you Michael .... I am so very sorry for all of your losses and illnesses

You have a lot on your plate

I am so glad that you and your mom have one another.... Hang on to each other with love.... Another hug and a blessing.... I'm glad that you're here.... xo

Michael I understand about the autoimmune disorder, I have a relative who is going through that and it is not a fantastic situation. This person feels that they are a burden on other family members regardless when that family member say "its okay, I do not mind doing things for you, if it was myself I would love for someone to be there for me too.) Its the guilt they have, like yourself. It sounds like mom do not mind doing the things she is doing or the fact you are there with her. Others do not understand people who have an autoimmune disorder unless they are suffering with it themselves. I have a friend who has chronic fatigue syndrome. She told me that her family feels that she is being lazy. She is not lazy, what is happens with having chronic fatigue syndrome, her body will become weak, she can't do anything, she tried using acupuncture but she do not have medical insurance and she don't have a lot of money to pay for it with cash. You are in my prayers.

I've been teaching death and dying classes to nursing students for 10 years now for their benefit, but also to work through my own grief over lots of losses in my life, too. It's taken a lot of psychiatry and therapy, and teaching these classes daily for `10 years to do it, but I think I'm processing my grief now. Sending you my support hoping the same for you, too, Michael.