Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have so much anger and hatred towards my ex-AH, but I cannot get him out of my mind. I think about him and our marriage non-stop. I think about he and his pregnant gf, and obsess over what is going on in their relationship and think about whether he is treating her well. I dont want to have these thoughts. It is almost like a drug addicton. I try to keep No Contact but it is so hard. We only have a few loose ends to tie up regarding the house. I was approved to refinance the home in order to buy him out and that will take place next week. He tells me that I am a miserable person, that I am narcissistic and arrogant. He says things in emails such as this:
"Wow! You are delusional and borderline psychotic. For starters, I did not flirt with you when we went to sell the rings that you failed to agree to sell that day. I wanted them gone so I could continue to move on. Something you obviously cannot do because you continue to open unnecessary doors that we mutually closed ie. "I'm going after your retirement". I refuse to be nice to you anymore because you misconstrue, distort, and twist my kindness. I'm naturally a nice person. You not so much. And I have found someone way better than you. She's kind, thoughtful, courteous, attractive, hardworking, funny and is going to be a great mother. You are not mentally healthy. I'm sorry but your father caused you damage. Was it when he kicked you or molested you?
Oh yeah, there is nothing better and better or even good about you. What little personality you have sucks and that's being kind. And you a*@ will never shape up to a 23 year olds...even pregnant. LOL"
It should be noted that my father never abused me or molested me. He passed away from cancer a month ago and my ex-AH knows this. He was a great father and did everything for his two daughters. However, even horrible things like this e-mail are not enough to firmly convince my brain that he is horrible and I am so much better off. I feel like I lost in this whole thing.
"Wow! You are delusional and borderline psychotic. For starters, I did not flirt with you when we went to sell the rings that you failed to agree to sell that day. I wanted them gone so I could continue to move on. Something you obviously cannot do because you continue to open unnecessary doors that we mutually closed ie. "I'm going after your retirement". I refuse to be nice to you anymore because you misconstrue, distort, and twist my kindness. I'm naturally a nice person. You not so much. And I have found someone way better than you. She's kind, thoughtful, courteous, attractive, hardworking, funny and is going to be a great mother. You are not mentally healthy. I'm sorry but your father caused you damage. Was it when he kicked you or molested you?
Oh yeah, there is nothing better and better or even good about you. What little personality you have sucks and that's being kind. And you a*@ will never shape up to a 23 year olds...even pregnant. LOL"
It should be noted that my father never abused me or molested me. He passed away from cancer a month ago and my ex-AH knows this. He was a great father and did everything for his two daughters. However, even horrible things like this e-mail are not enough to firmly convince my brain that he is horrible and I am so much better off. I feel like I lost in this whole thing.
I agree wholeheartedly with livn, they don't believe or disbelieve their own lies, they are not even interested enough in them to keep track of them. Everything they say, and everything they do has one goal-power over you. That's it. It doesn't have to make sense-they are throwing out whatever they think might work because by the time we leave they are desperate.
WHY they can't move on, plain and simple, in a case like my ex and yours is that they are Narcs, and they have objectified us to the point that they cannot accept that we can leave. They just think its a matter of saying or doing the right thing to make us come back. Us separating ourselves from them is like to us if we woke up tomorrow morning and the day was plunged in darkness and someone told us the sun refused to rise. We would we be certain it was just a nightmare from which we would wake up, we would be frantic trying to find the explanation that would mean it was just temporary like an unexpected eclipse, we would run through all the reasons why it was impossible, we wouldn't accept it was real because it just can't happen-the sun always rises. Same thing. We BELONG to them, we can't make our own decisions-like to leave. It's just not possible to them.
There is the link. I hope you can find understanding and support. There are certainly a lot of us who have been through this sort of craziness in that group. I just posted my story there as I discovered a lot of new info about my psychopath yesterday.
Did he actually file the lawsuit or is he just talking? It's gonna cost more in court fees than the ladder is worth. What an idiot.