Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It’s me again. Having a bad night. I always hear the saying”Time heals all wounds”. But seriously how long is it going to take. It’s been six months since my ex attacked me with a bat and my body still hurts. When I walk, pick something up,when I chew or when I absolutely do nothing. And every time I feel physical pain I feel hate towards him. I hate what he took from me. It’s crazy after 27 years with him, I don’t miss him one bit but the hate I feel is just not in my nature. I know my life is and will be much better without him but I just want to forget about him. It’s just hard because I feel and see what he did to me everyday.
When it comes to physical wounds, it depends on how serious they are and whether appropriate medical care was given immediately after.
There is a known mind/body/spirit connection that we humans have. More and more experts are realizing that 'time heals all wounds' doesn't apply to trauma. And that trauma continues to reside in the body, the cells and the dna.
It almost always takes the appropriate kind of therapy with a specially trained therapist to help us heal. Otherwise, we will continue to walk around being retraumatized every time we are triggered. Triggers are not only unexpected, but usually so small that we don't even recognize them as such.
Please find a qualified trauma release therapist who is specially trained in various kinds of therapy modalities over and above talk therapy and CBT. While necessary, talk therapy, alone (and even combined with CBT) will only serve to keep the trauma alive and NOT heal. Each trauma release therapy session should have a healing componente. Talk therapy usually just helps to rip open the delicate scabs we build and rebuild emotionally over time.
This is a link to a thread I wrote a while back based on years of trying to find a therapist. It has suggested questions to ask a potential therapist. https://www.dailystrength.org/group/physical-emotional-abuse/discussion/questions-to-ask-a-potential-therapist
Another thing that is critical for healing is practicing self-care. The longer one stays total No Contact with their abuser(s), the more the abuse 'fog' will begin to clear enough to start practicing extreme self-care. Here are two links that discuss self-love and self-care
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/physical-emotional-abuse/discussion/what-we-focus-on-expands-practicing-self-care
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/physical-emotional-abuse/discussion/focusing-on-self-love-amp-self-care
Healing from the trauma from any kind of abuse takes a long time. We each heal in our own time and we have to find the right healing modalities that work for us. So what works for one may or may not work for another. Also, its critical that you allow yourself the time and space to go thru the grief process around all the losses you suffered due to the abuse. Allowing yourself to grieve is part of the healing process. If you don't allow yourself to grieve in a healthy way, you won't heal.
Please take good care of yourself, find a good therapist and give yourself the gift of healing by taking however much time and space you need to go thru the process. Know that it is not linear. At best its zig zag, goes up and down, back and forth, in and out and around and around. And that's normal.
~healing hugs~
There are days where I think I’m doing ok. Then there are days like today. Having to talk to lawyers and talk about what happened to me. Today I can’t even think straight. Sitting in my office at work crying my eyes out trying to focus and do my job and not let anyone see me. It’s a bad day. Thank you for the encouraging words.