I posted these a while back as a response to another thread. I have since added a couple more. I hope this helps.

Looking for a qualified abuse/trauma recovery therapist is a daunting task. Here are some things that can help.

First ask friends, family, a trusted physician etc. who theyve used & ask how their experiences were. Word of mouth is one of the best ways to find a good provider. I found my wonderful therapist because I kept asking around and three people suggested I try her.

When you have found a few candidates, call each one and set up a consultation to see if they are a good fit for you. Some charge for this, some dont.

Before you commit to the consultation, ask what percent of their clients are there due to abuse/trauma/and abuse related ptsd. If their answer is sufficient for you, then if they charge for a pre-therapy consultation. You can further clarify by asking if they do this type of consultation in person and/or on the phone. If they do both, then ask what the charges are for each. Personally, I would prefer an in person consult because non-verbals (tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, etc.) make up over 90% of communication.

These are some questions to ask during the consult:

1. What additional training over and above what was required to obtain your degrees and license? If they say none or its very minimal, you might want to move on to the next possibility. (Know that most states require them to take at least one class a year to keep their licenses. However, those classes may be very short and could end up being more like a survey course.

2. Do you have additional training in trauma release, trauma recovery, ptsd, and trauma bonding OVER AND ABOVE WHAT YOU GOT TO EARN YOUR DEGREES? If they say no, move on to the next one. It may also be important to ask if they have additional training in addictions. Many abusers are addicts, so it can help to have a better understanding of that.

3. What modalities do you use? And which ones have you had additional training in? This is crucial because, IMHO, while normal talk therapy is essential to every modality that I can think of, talk therapy alone usually doesn't get to the sub & unconscious which is where the trauma is stored. CTB (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is also a good modality, but its usually not enough to get to the subconscious either. And it's a lot harder to change behavior when one is still in the toxic environment. So other modalities may be more helpful.

4. Is there a healing component in each session? I found from my own experience that talking about the abuse/trauma left me feeling worse when I left the session than when I started. There are modalities that include a healing component in each session. I can only speak for myself (and others that have shared w/me) that having a healing component not only helps us feel better when we leave, it can also help to empower us because we are doing our own healing with the guidance of the therapist. And those healing components build on each other to create a new healthy foundation. An example of a healing component is toward the end of the session, the client may be given a stuffed teddy bear to nurture like a parent would nurture a small child. This translates into self nurturing. It may be the only nurturing a client has received in many years, if ever. It's critical to our healing that we learn to self nurture.

5. Are you doing your own work? If they are insulted or refuse to answer, that's a pretty good indication that they are not. Again, move on to the next candidate. Many therapists go into the field because they want to help others heal from the very issues they have experienced and/or are still dealing with. The problem is that many therapists don't do their own work. So their clients can and do trigger them. And they (the therapists) are not equipped to deal w/their own triggers. I was taught that people in the healing profession can only help others heal as far as they have healed, or are healing. It is crucial that therapists continue to do their own work.

6a. How long are the sessions? They may have sessions of varying lengths and that may depend on the modality they are using. I found out the hard way that some insurances don't pay for sessions longer than approx 50 min. Some of the modalities that helped me the most ran 90 minutes and were well worth it to me to pay the difference. When talking w/others, I found out that some insurances pay for longer sessions. So its worth asking.

6b. What are your fees? (There could be more than one fee depending on the length of the session, if its an emergency, what modalities they use, etc.)

7. Do you accept (my specific) insurance? Many take lots of different insurances, but some only take certain types of insurance. Some require the client to pay up front and file their own claims. Others require the client to pay up front but will file the claim for client.

8. For those who dont have insurance or arent in a position to self-pay you can ask if they do pro bono or have a sliding scale payment plan. You can also check w/your local women's shelter or county mental health agency for a list of therapists who do. BUT be aware that just because they are on those lists doesn't mean they are trained trauma release therapist. Heck, I know from my own area that it doesn't even me they have a clue about the dynamics or affects of abuse. Sad, but true.

9. What hours do you see clients? (Some therapists offer after hours sessions so people who work 8-5 dont have to take off work.)


Other things you need to be aware of:

It's quite common to begin therapy talking about the external source of the issue(s). In this case, it's the abuser. As you move through therapy, the focus should shift to how you internalize(d) what happened, and the abuse becomes less and less of the focus. Instead, the affects of the abuse become the focus.

We learn that we can only change ourselves and how we see / process / interpret things. If, after a while, depending on how often you're seeing the therapist, the therapist doesn't start to gently redirect you, it's time to ask or find a different therapist. If you stay stuck on only talking about the abuser and their actions and how they hurt you and don't do any healing work, it just keeps those wounds raw.

IMHO, therapy needs to be as regular as possible. Ideally, once a week. In severe cases, twice a week. The less often we go, the harder it is

After going to therapy off & on for over 30 years, I discovered that the therapist doesn't heal me, I heal me. Healing is up to me. The therapist is just the guide/facilitator. How quickly and how much I heal depends on how much effort I put into my "work."

And, I'm here to tell you that this work aint for sissies! Its tough and its painful and its intense. I know. Ive been there. But what I learned is that:

In order to get past the pain, we gotta go thru it.

However,

While pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. (Dont know who said that.)

There are ways/modalities that will allow us to heal w/o repeating the suffering. We will feel emotions, and that's a good thing. A trauma release therapist will guide us as to how to release those emotions and old thought patterns in a healthy way so that we can end our suffering, rebuild our self esteem and love/trust ourselves above all others. We will also learn to set & keep healthy boundaries.

All things are possible. We can move from victim to survivor to thriver!

~healing hugs~