Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Going out of my mind...

aral2003
aral2003
I had to reach out to my husband today as his mortgage payment is due tomorrow. Somehow the conversation got ugly because he said he "refuses to support my lavish lifestyle" and he wants to me stop stalling on selling the house. I told him I need to review the pros and cons about listing before the spring. He then laughed and said I will never change. I got upset and said he will never change and he continues to be abusive. He then said the fact that I am not friends with any of my exes and he is friends with his only other ex shows that it is all me and not him. He is turning this all around on me and now I feel like sh*t.
aral2003
aral2003
So last night I get a call from the realtor I found whom my stbx told last week to pretty much go to hell. Apparently stbx called the realtor Monday night and apologized for "being an a-hole" and now wants to meet with him. The realtor was like "it was like he was a totally different person." I had to laugh because that is just one of 1,000,000 reasons why I left him. He can change his personality with the snap of his fingers.
cant74deal
cant74deal
So he told him he wanted to meet with him AFTER he told you he wanted to wait??? He is going to try to screw you over in every way he can-watch your back. I don't know how much you can do about it-but just be prepared-it will make it easier. Thank God you have a separation agreement already-that's something at least. Your life is going to be so much better the less you have to do with him. His girlfriend is in for a lot of misery.
aral2003
aral2003
cant74deal - YUP! He said he wanted to wait and then that same day he called the realtor that I found and was told to go to hell by the stbx. I am so thankful for that separation agreement.

And I have heard through people that he told his gf that he was only reacting to my craziness when he hit me. I guess that makes it ok (eye rolling).
cant74deal
cant74deal
It's not unusual for an abuser to be shockingly frank with a new victim-twisting things around of course when they do. I think it's a tactic which allows them on some level to test the waters and see how tolerant someone is of such unexcusable behaviors, and also they can tell themselves "She knew what she was getting herself into."

I'd start telling people you don't want to hear this stuff. I wish my daughter would stop talking about her father. Unfortunately I have ties through my daughter for the rest of my life.
aral2003
aral2003
I have been telling people not to tell me stuff. That is an interesting point about abusers being upfront with new victims in order to test the waters. I never thought of it that way!