Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I had to reach out to my husband today as his mortgage payment is due tomorrow. Somehow the conversation got ugly because he said he "refuses to support my lavish lifestyle" and he wants to me stop stalling on selling the house. I told him I need to review the pros and cons about listing before the spring. He then laughed and said I will never change. I got upset and said he will never change and he continues to be abusive. He then said the fact that I am not friends with any of my exes and he is friends with his only other ex shows that it is all me and not him. He is turning this all around on me and now I feel like sh*t.
I can tell you right now that that alcohol counsellor is wrong. I got stuff like this, in very similar wording. And my dad used to do that first-naming thing at the beginning of every narcissistic "disciplinary" speech, when I hadn't been a good girl and treated him like a f***ing emperor.
Meet with the realtor alone, when you want to, and he can shove his pompous ideas!
I hate to say this but I think you should be prepared-Get used to these kinds of responses. He will do it every-single-time you have contact-and it will be more brutal when you don't do whatever it is he has decided he wants you to do. It's infuriating to a Narc that someone they got used to thinking they could control they can't control anymore-absolutely enraging to them. This A hole Narc thinks he has a perfect right to behave any way he wants-no matter how cruel-because you dared to be an individual and assert yourself. It's intolerable to them. He thinks you deserve it-and I am if he hasn't already he will tell you so. Don't believe him. You don't deserve it. My ex also used to accuse me of the EXACT things he was doing. Yours is doing the same. What a piece of work!
Also, he has already told me weeks ago that I deserved everything he did because I am such a bad person.
When you look at a replacement-try and find one who is experienced with divorce selling and won't shy away from complicated situations like yours. Someone who has some finesse with dealing with these kinds of problems between splitting spouses. If it were me, I would even tell my Realtor-I was in an abusive marriage and that is why I do not want to meet face to face with my ex.
You are right-you are going to get emails saying just what you predicted. Don't read them-you already know what they say. Your ex is going to make every single step of this divorce difficult as possible. I would guess the only reason you have such reasonable terms in your separation agreement now is because he thought he could convince you he had changed and didn't really think he'd have to abide by any of these terms.
My ex did that. Then once the divorce was official-he never honored any of the agreed to court orders-I had to constantly decide if it was worth letting it go or taking him into court over it.
I know my ex had to have reached out to the realtor last night because the realtor was fine with meeting separately when he emailed me around 6:00 and them at around close to midnight I get another email saying he cannot work with us bc of the bias crap.
I am already looking for a relator and I am going to make sure I explain the circumstances right away so that he or she knows what is at issue.
You seem to know what you're doing. Explain it to the next realtor and set your boundaries. Block his communication in every way you can. I'd seriously try to find a 3rd party mediator to relay messages between because he's going to take every opportunity he can to abuse you.