I am going to see if a realtor can just be the go between. I really have no interest in seeing him or speaking with him. Other than that it would have to be a family member and no way will I communicate with anyone in his family as I am the evil one in their eyes. We no longer have mutual friends as a result of all of this.

My ex still tries to play my family and I against each other. Typical abuser move. It also allows him to pump them for information he can ruminate on and use against me. He does the same thing when he sees our daughter. He is still obsessed with abusing me. Last email I got (which I didn't read) was 9/27-he averages a couple a month still-at least it is decreasing. Unless he catches a glimpse of me or sees my family and then it escalates again. Or if he's drunk. I don't know that it will ever stop. He just contacted my sister to ask her if she wanted to buy his elliptical (you can just put it on craigslist you pig!). Creeps me out to no end-this stuff he does.

Your ex is so mad right now that you don't see him face to face! Ha! He's pulling out all the stops to try and force you to do what he's fixated on-which is seeing you so he can make you squirm. He is so disappointed. Poor little fella.

I refuse to give him what he wants. I am making sure that the next realtor I contact will be willing to meet separately at all times. There is no need for us to be together to discuss this stuff.

So after my abusive stbx scared off the last realtor bc he agreed to meet with me separately this week, I was able to find another realtor who is very experienced and knows the ares where the house is located. He called stbx yesterday and pretty much told the realtor to go to hell and said we will not be using him. The entire phone call lasted less than a minute. The stbx is the one who is anxious to sell the house as he is still paying for half of everything and not living there. So I do something that he should be agreeable to and this is what I get.

It's not rational-it's punishment for you. He's going to make everything as difficult as possible to spite you. Don't you know you are too stupid to find a decent Realtor (according to him) and everything you do to chose one will be wrong, wrong, wrong. And because you are lacking the intelligence to find the right Realtor it's still your fault he's delayed in paying for your "lavish lifestyle". Don't be surprised if now he gets the brilliant idea that HE needs to be the one to choose the Realtor, one that he thinks he will be able to control and by extension control you. Then again, he might enjoy just shooting them down for a while and blaming you for it-that will feed the Narcissistic rage needed to be the excuse to abuse you some more.

I really don't like your stbx.

Remember to keep everything documented. Emails, texts, if you can and if you have spoken to him record the conversations, when you go to court this is what you will need to bring to the table as proof of not only the financial abuse but the verbal, and emotional turmoil he is putting you through.

Whatever you do don't use any threatening words at all, because he can in turn use that against you. And please be careful. Things can get really ugly and it's just beginning.

hugs.

Now my stbx wants to wait until spring to list, which makes no sense bc he will have to continue to pay the mortgage and 40% of the tax bill in the winter. The separation agreement says we dont have to list until the divorce decree is signed, which could be months away. Now that I am willing to list the house, he doesnt want to, even though he was harassing me about last week and emailing my parents.

Oh and apparently the movie Gone Girl is about our relationship because the woman is crazy. He had to make sure to throw that in when he contacted me about a realtor.

Oookaaay......

He will always throw in little digs like that. What a jerk.

cant74deal - and you were right... he said he cannot trust any realtor that I choose bc he is afraid he will "get screwed in the end."

Your ex just makes my blood boil-I know this guy. I know what you're in for. But I also know you are capable of handling whatever he throws your way. You just shouldn't have to.

He is now also afraid that I will forward emails that he sent to me admitting all of his abuse to his work and his 23 year old gf. I dont plan on doing any of this... I figure his gf will find out eventually what he is like (even though he claims to have been honest with her about what he did to me, which I dont buy). He is clearly playing victim and telling people he fears me and what I am capable of destroying in his life. What he doesnt understand is that he would have nothing to fear if he was never abusive!

On a positive note, I have been able to resist temptation to respond to non-business communication from him. I ran my first marathon on Sunday and he wished me good luck that morning. He got no response from me.

Whoot! Whoot! Good for you! I personally get satisfaction from the fact I know just how much he hates that.

My ex would (still) project, project, project. All the things he was capable of doing to me he would worry I was going to do to him. It's the movie show of a demented mind. He constantly accused me of sitting around trying to think of ways to make his life miserable, and whenever I created boundaries, or didn't respond in his mind that had nothing to do with self protection and just trying to get on with my life-it was a personal f-you to him. It's like, Newsflash-NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU! Buddy, if you don't bother me, I don't even think about you anymore! My life is about me-not about you anymore. If he baited me, and I didn't respond, he would make up all of these reasons about why I did things-and even though they had no response from me take them as truth. We will talk to me like we had some conversation about them and I said "Yup, I cheated on you all through our marriage. Yup, I lied all through our marriage that I was happy when I wasn't-just to "get you." HaHa-because I'm evil and I roll that way. None of it was true. None of it was based on any evidence of has anything to do with me. All obsessions in his head. So flippin creepy.

I never even thought about sending the emails to his work. And then he accused me of telling someone that I "have a plan for him." I have no idea what he was talking about!

Use reverse psychology on him. Whenever he's doing something to try to piss you off, pretend it's exactly what YOU wanted anyway: "oh you don't want to sell the house now? That's great, I didn't want the pain in the ass of having to move anyway. This is so much more convenient, thanks for taking all that stress of me." Make it sound believable. He'll quickly change his mind. You can probably get him to do whatever if you want if you're a good enough actor about it.

Of course you didn't. Because YOU are the rational one, the one who is just trying to move forward, you are not the vindictive one. He is projecting, he thinks in this twisted way,and since he is Narc and he can't understand people thinking about things in any other way than he does (because people are not separate and individual remember) he automatically thinks you are that way too. If it wasn't so frustrating and unfair, and crappy and scary-it'd almost be funny how ridiculous the thought process is. How detached from reality.