Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I am getting so frustrated that my husband's father sexually abused my daughter for years and he is in complete denial that his father could do this. After watching my daughter for years suffer with low self esteem, cutting, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety....etc....he is convinced someone sexually abused her but not believing her whens he says his dad did it. It is causing a lot of daily stress in our marriage. The mention of his father causes an instant fight. I know he did it. We are trying to get his father to take a lie detector test, but ofcourse he has excuses not to....because he is guilty!!! Do they ever just admit it and say they are sorry???? The pain they cause is unbelievable and they get away with it with all our children. Makes me sick!
That is sad that when he shot himself no one cared...or is it justice? If that happened to my father in law there would be a huge funeral and myself and my daughter ofourse would not attend and we would be talked about and blamed for it. His religious beliefs probably have kept him from suicide, just not from having sex with children. Sick! One day at a time is right.
You will love that book.
I would like to be a fly on the wall when he talks to God. We are preparing for a face to face meeting with our counselor there and his preacher. It will just be a denial meeting. I am taking my time to schedule it because I want to be verry prepared. My counselor is reading all the correspende b/w us so she isn't hit with any surprises she can't handle. I'm not sure what it will accomplish but they want to meet with my husband and leave me out so this is the solution. He won't exclude me.
NJ, you are probably freezing right now. We are having a cold spell. I love it.
They believe she lied because of her history of lying about her drug use etc.... all caused by tthe abuse if you ask me. I can always tell when she is lying and she is not. We have had to admit her in different hospitals over the years and they did all the usual "bipolar" etc...meds that they do, so they are playing the mental illness card as well. Now we know all these years she had PTSD and not bipolar.
She kept it a secret for 17 years and suffered because she did not want to break up the family. I think now that she has a therapist she can trust and knows she is safe she has opened up.
Children will lie to stay out of trouble not to get in it.
I have very detailed accounts of the abuse because we had her in hypnotherapy. She can even remember the car he drove her home from church in after he molested her in the church playroom at 7 years old. I couldn't even remember that car, it was in her subconcious. It mostly occured at their house when my mother in law would fall asleep. She has told me for years that she is a heavy sleeper but now in her denial she says she would know if he got out of bed. The last time it occured my daughter remembers her calling out his name looking for him and him saying he was just checking on my daughter. She never went over there again to stay the night and my daughter always felt like she was in trouble and that she knew. It's a shame that she can't admit the red flags that went up. She has been with him since she was 16 and is a very controlling person.
You are right he was a coward, a sick coward.
Although probably not good to buy things out of guilt...I bet a horse is going to be great for them, something to take care of and nurture. Teach them responsibility.
I have my youngest daughter in counseling right now to see if anything happened to her. I pray she was spared, I'm not sure I can handle another child being violated by my sick FIL.
Hugs to you!!