Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi everyone, I just wanted to say its been over 2 years that I have been on this site. But wanted to encourage you all who are walking through this very very dark tunnel. This site saved my insanity. I was able to cry out to wonderful people when the abuse was found out about. No one else could possibly understand except the people that have gone through this horrific ordeal with their children. I even made two lifetime friends that I keep in contact with! It's been a few years now since that horrible time. The guilt almost consumed me, I blamed myself. (how could a mom not know?) I have to say it has changed me. I don't trust people like I used to. This was a grandfather whom abused my sweet babies for many years! This was a person I thought I could trust. Your whole word turns upside down. I had to go on anti-anxiety meds, I don't know how I did my job, there are gaps in time I don't even remember. But we are getting through this. My oldest daughter is now 24. finished college and her masters degree in social work( I think statistically alot of abused woman go into this field) She has met a wonderful young man and I believe soon to be engaged! She so struggled. But while finishing her degree, she found a councelor on her own and really did a lot of therapy. The evil grandfather molested her from 5-12. My youngest I believe from toddler to 13! She is the one whom finally broke the silence. (she finished her cosmetolgy schooling and working in a great salon! There have been a lot of ups and downs and there is not a day still that goes by that it doesn't pop up in mind in some way, but I know where we have been and where we are. I have a good relationship with my girls, (they do tell me I am too involved in their life)! Relate? Right now my youngest just broke up with a boy I thought was going to be my son in law. I think I am more devastated then she is. I loved this young man.(the son i never had) So I am trying to get through this. Does it seem like there is always something? Ok I just wanted to reach out to you all and if I can help in anyway I am here to listen. Keep supporting each other, rage, yell, scream, cry. We do understand. Love and hugs to you all who are here. AH
I can so relate to your youngest breaking up with her b.f. My oldest had been dating a young woman for a few years, such a gentle spirit, and once she was told our story she thoroughly supported us all; I thought she was the daughter we never had, we were very like minded. They broke up a month after graduating from college; our family was so disappointed, but I was devastated too for a while. It's so hard to trust people, but once you really get to know someone and trust them enough to embrace them as a part of the family, when it doesn't work out it wrecks you. Well, he started dating someone else, not gentle spirited, not like minded, not supportive of our story--she sees it as an excuse not to be positive enough, so my son just never talks about it, and has adopted a similar attitude if it's brought up somehow-- he's sticking his head in the sand so he doesn't piss her off, imho.... but after a few years they got married. Our relationship is a work in progress, for a variety of reasons to say the least.
Recently our other son, who was the main "victim" started dating someone after a long break from his first g.f. of over 6 yrs who got him to disclose. I don't know enough about his new g.f., she seems nice, a bit high maintenance; but he has become quite a bit dramatic and moody. Not sure what's going on, I think he needs to go back to therapy, at least short term. I don't think he's told her anything yet about the abuse. Uugghh, it's something that will always raise it's ugly head in one way or another, just gotta have the tools ready to deal, and proceed forward...
I've said it in the past, but maybe not recently enough, the ladies here (and to a degree on 2 other sites that are no longer active) saved me from complete breakdown as well, nowhere to go in person here either. Annholly, maybe we should return to discussing our idea of starting a support group somewhere, somehow; we're more ready than we've ever been.............................
I am so thankful someone told me about this support group. Counseling is helpful but to vent to people who know where you are coming from is very helpful.