Gomeszy, You've picked an interesting site to send in a question. Not that women are the only one's who go through a "change" but I will say I've only seen woman in this particular discussion area. All that said, this is a very touchy time for women, and therefore, their mates. My husband and I went through a year of counseling just to rethink our relationship and come up with new ways of communicating and relating. The two of you really need to decide how important this relationship is to each of you. Each one needs to determine if it is "worth" a compromise. If either of you is in it just for "self" it isn't going to work. So, how committed are you two? How much have you invested in the relationship and what are each of you wanting to get out of it? Time for some deep self reflection on both your parts. Happy contemplating...Caterina

Well I know it is kind of strange for a guy to join but figured who else is better to ask than women who have gone through what my girlfriend is experiencing. Like when you need info on a car, you go to someone who works on cars, not a plumber. LOL

Thanks for the information... I appreciate it.

If you love her and like being with her, hang on to her. Let her know, you won't leave and you won't cheat. For her to tell how she truly feels means you have a decent relationship (which are hard to find!!!) I suffer from the same symptom of perimenopause, menopause, whatever this is. All I can say, it is a real, and frightening feeling. Hang in there.

We are trying to figure out how to work around it all. Right now, she lives in Sacramento and I live in Vegas so it makes it kind of hard to work on it together but hopefully she will be moving here soon.

Thanks for the info. I appreciate it. I have tried to talk her into herbal rememdies or natural remedies such as food and she is resistant... LOL Heck trying to get her to see a doctor even for a routine check up is next to impossible.

I don't know how old your lady is, but when you say that she 'went through menopause' I would like to add that it is a LONG transition. I would suggest that she goes to an endocrinologist and have all of her hormones done. Very painless and only requires a blood test. Now that I am 55 I can totally relate to her issues. I feel so much better now that I am 'fine tuning' my hormones. She may just be in that stage where her symptoms are taking more of a toll on her than she knows?
At this age it is so important to take care of yourself and get healthy. I always say 'If I don't take care of myself no one else is going to'.
Good luck!

Yeah I mispoke on that one..she is 53 and is still going through it.. She has hot flashes and the mood swimgs and stuff. I have tried to get her to go to a doctor but she won't even go for regular health things. She hasn't had a mamogram in decades because she swears the machines cause cancer, and I have no idea the last time she was in a doctors office. She swears up and down she is perfectly healthy and refuses to go. as I said I have tried to talk her into having her hormones checked but she says even if they are low she will not take hormones. I even tried to get her to eat soy beans and tofu and she hates them so refuses. Same goes for herbal supplements.

I guess that she just has a 'thing' about the medical stuff and she IS HER OWN WOMAN...
What I would suggest for you is take care of yourself and try to be patient. We know by now that you can't control her actions, good or bad.
Best wishes,
Jan

Yeah.. What I get worried about is her health. Heck I live at the Doctors it seems like. LOL. Thanks for the info.

I was just in a relationship with a man who literally counted down the days of when we would have sex. We went for 11 days without because I was so ill from the perimenopause and I had a bladder infection and he was always making me feel guilty. It was awful. The pressure was unbearable. I don't think you sound the same but if you are, that could drive her away. I used to love sex, now I never think about it. I could totally go without it but I still crave affection. Like everyone else said, it's what is important to you and what you can handle. If you love her, that is so important. It's not everyday that you find a wonderful person and when you do, you need to hang on to them!

Gomez,
I suggest you GENTLY talk to her and let her know how important your relationship is 1st but that sex is also a very important part of that relationship to you and that her lack of interest will take a toll on the relationship sooner or later and that hormone supplementation most definitely can restore her desire for sex and if the relationship is as important to her as it is to you, you are asking her to see a doctor on behalf of your relationship. Just my 2 cents.

I truly admire that you came here to get advice. I have gone through the hormone issue with my husband a million times. Medically, I cannot take them. Sex is very low on my list of priorities in life. He has peripheral artery disease which totally cuts off circulation to the lower part of his body. So therefore he can't have sex anyway. In our case it works out just fine. Ask yourself how you would feel if it were you that had a medical problem that would keep your from having sex. Would you want her to stand by you because she loves you for you? I hope that you both can come to a happy medium.

I talked to her and she agrees to see if we can come to a happy medium as you say. So hopefully things will be better when we get together this next month. Looking forward to seeing what we can come up with to try.

At least she is more open to talking about it. Still refuses to go see a doctor about ANYTHING though which worries me.

Sorry I haven't been back in a few days. Husband had bypass on his right leg. It has been rather hectic to say the least.

Don't think me crazy here, but maybe you should try different approaches. You said she gets interested if she watches DVD's. Well why not do some role playing as if you were making your own. Maybe she has some fantasies that you could tap into and find her in a more agreeable mood. I hope I am not over stepping my bounds here, but I do admire you for coming here to look for solutions. She is one lucky lady to have you. Ann

Marked! I will come back to check this soon!thanks a lot.:-)
[url=http://simulationdecreditimmobiler.com][color=#FFFFFF][u]demande credit
immobilier simulation pret de france taux calcul
courtier[/u][/url][/color][color=#FFFFFF]Une simulation credit immobiler de France
a faire un
pret.[/color][url=http://simulationdecreditimmobiler.com][color=#FFFFFF][u]demande
credit immobilier simulation pret de france taux calcul
courtier[/u][/url][/color]

Well the cure all isn't going on hormones , and your g/f has every right not to add things to her body, for some women the home replacement treatment works great, that being said it can also be dangerous, they can cause higher risks for certain types of cancer, and there can be lots of side effects. This all has to be dicussed with a trusted Dr. The worst for me was peri menopause, I had a tough year, where it felt like my world was ending could see no future, felt up down and all around. Now that has settled down , I avoid as much refined sugar as possible , this helps with the hot flash's , my Dr did a few tests found out I was low in vitiman "D" , since I have been taking that feeling much better, plus it's good for your bones :)
Interesting thought "what if you became sexually dysfunctional , how would you feel if she considered leaving you ? "

I agree with you she should have a mamogram I think they suggest those starting at the age of 50. She also needs to be responsible for her body , and get tests to see whats going on hormonally ,physically , emotionally. Just be there for her buddy , and know that HORMONES can make a person crazzzy I am sure you have seen or experienced some results of PMS at one point in your life , well it's simaliar to that but much more intense. Good Luck to you both.